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July 1, 1972
Do you like patience?
(Mother hands Satprem her garland of "Patience")
Yes, one needs it, it seems.
What would you like to tell me?
Have you found the new attitude?
I don't know.
I am no longer the same person, I don't know.
All, absolutely all the reactions are new. But I don't find the.... My only impression is that of CLINGING to the Divine every minute of the day. It's the only way out.
That's how the body functions.
The body's experience is that without the Divine, it would ... crumble.
That's all.
It has in fact a growing sense of nonexistence - of the absence of a separate individuality (Mother touches the skin of her hands).
But it i
April 25, 1973
(For the last ten days, all the meetings have been spent
in
contemplation.)
How are you getting on?
It's not easy.
No - it's more than difficult.... I am sorry, I thought I was suffering for everybody - but I see it isn't the case.
(silence) What would you like?
I'd like you to keep me.
Yes, but materially? You mean keep you like now?
(Mother takes Satprem's hands
and
prepares to meditate)
Yes, Mother.
Are you comfortable?
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Yes, Mother, very!
You shouldn't have any ache anywhere.
(Mother plunges in for half an hour,
then suddenly moans
[[Coincidentally,
Mother's former assistant, who has a cancer, enters the room
November 11, 1972
(Mother does not look too well.)
We'll need a message for the November darshan.
(Mother remains silent
then writes with her eyes closed)
Beyond all preferences and limitations,
there is a ground of mutual understanding where
all can meet and find their harmony:
it is the aspiration for a divine consciousness. [[Original English. ]]
(With a charming smile) Nothing to ask?
(Satprem shakes his head
Mother keeps her eyes closed)
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May 31, 1972
(Mother remains absorbed a long time. She often asked Satprem
if he had any "questions," but truly speaking Satprem didn't
come to see Mother to "ask questions." Rather he wanted to
efface himself all he could and let her experience flow out it she
liked to give it expression, or remain silent if so she preferred
He did not want his mind to grind thoughts, with its thousand
questions, lest it should cloud the atmosphere and bring pres
sure upon Mother. Questions seemed pointless to him unless
they arose on the spur of the moment, springing from within,
because then they responded to something iN Mother. Indeed,
Satprem wanted to be simply a sort o
March 10, 1972
(A conversation with Auroville's architect, who, after the
recent
"accident," asks for money for "fire protection.")
Well, there isn't enough money here, and there's even less there.... Because in people's minds, it's all the same thing [the
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Ashram and Auroville], and so they don't know where to give anymore.
There's so much money wasted in the world - some people don't even know what to do with it!
What would be needed for Auroville's protection, how much?
(The architect:) We have to make a study, Mother. I thinkperhaps one or two lakhs for all of Auroville (for wells and fire
hoses). That's for the time being, but there's also the future:
January 24, 1973
Do you have something? ...
No.
The farther I go, the more contradictions I discover in myself-
sharp contradictions. They look like impossibilities.
No, not impossibilities - it probably means you have to go deeper or higher to their meeting ground. That's how it works: the opposites get increasingly vehement until we find the point where they ... where unity is established.
One must go deeper and deeper, or higher and higher - it's one and the same thing. It's the same thing.
(silence)
All our old ways of understanding things are WORTHLESS - worthless.
All, all our values are WORTHLESS.
We are on the threshold of something truly marvelous,
December 23, 1972
Time sense is completely topsy-turvy - when I think five minutes have passed, it's an hour, and when I think an hour has passed, it's five minutes! It's completely, completely.... And I am puzzled, I am truly puzzled as to what causes it. Another standard of time. And it doesn't follow my conscious will: I'll start eating, thinking, "I want to be finished in twenty minutes" - and it takes me an hour! On another occasion, I don't think of time: I finish in twenty-five minutes. I don't understand.
From an outward point of view, I am starting to look crazy!
!!!
At night (I have long nights, but I don't sleep), I feel it's over in one minute! ... I go to bed say
November 25, 1972
(The day before, Mother came out on her balcony for
the November "darshan.")
How was it yesterday, on the balcony ?
(Mother returns the question) How was it?
I don't know.... Seemingly quite good, in any case!
Where were you?
At the door of Sujata's house, downstairs. And for you, how was it?
(long silence)
(Smiling) The apprenticeship of personal nonexistence.
I don't know....
It's difficult.
Yes.
A growing sensation that without the Divine there's no existence.
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Forgetting the Divine even for a minute is becoming catastrophic, you see.
Now and then, for a few seconds, the true beatific consciousness comes - but o
January 1, 1973
(Message for the year)
When you are conscious of the whole world at
the same time, then you can become conscious of
the Divine. [[Original English. ]]
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February 23, 1972
(Mother gives Satprem some papers, most of which have been
published
in this Agenda as "Notes.")
And here is more of T.J.'s notebook - I haven't reread it, I don't know what she put in it. You'll see if something is interesting.
Normally, part of it is scheduled to be published in the nextBulletin.
No, only what's worthwhile. Certain things are.... One or two things are revelations, but I don't know if she included them. I had one or two important revelations; they seemed like nothing, but they were.... But I don't know if they're included.
Do you want me to read them to you?
There's not enough time, mon petit. Do you have something?
Nothing par