February 28, 1973 (For the last ten days, the "conversations" have been spent in silence and contemplation - I have the impression that Mother wants me to understand something by another means. But what? Furthermore, the attendant is now almost constantly in the room. She no longer bothers to pretend being in the bathroom. She breaks in on the conversation, offers her own comments - of course, since Mother "can't hear. "... People go in and out of Mother's room as they please, and continue their own conversations. The atmosphere is quite changed This is perhaps why Mother tries to establish another type of Page 368 communication with me, another ki

February 16, 1972 How are you? Don't know. (Mother laughs and goes on looking at Satprem) You don't have anything, no letter? Yes, I received a letter from A., conveying a message from mypublisher B.C. (you know, the one who published "The Adven ture of Consciousness"). B.C. wrote a letter [Satprem reads it to Mother] saying he's reading "The Ideal of Human Unity," but would like to publish "The Synthesis of Yoga." So A. replied to him [Satprem reads the reply to Mother] that he is sending his letter to Pondicherry "for instructions," but that in his opinion "it would be better to publish first the 'Ideal,' which may be accessible to a larger Western aud

August 2, 1972 The "Formation of Death" On several occasions since the beginning of this year 1972 - and actually even in a conversation of September 8, 1971, where some of Mother's words had a strange ring to them - Mother mentioned the "formation of death" she was up against. Today, again, in the following conversation, Mother speaks of that "formation. " In occult terms, a "formation "is a strongly "formed" thought, or a concentration of force with a specific goal and a permanent exis tence of its own. Formations can be negative or positive. In everyday life, for example, wills or desires or long-nurtured suggestions one day come to their happy or sorry f

May 29, 1972 (Mother sees Sujata. On this day, thirty-four years before, Sujata decided to stay with Mother. She was twelve and a half years old, the youngest disciple in the Ashram. She had made her first visit to Pondicherry when she was nine. She gives Mother a spray of "Service" flowers. This will be the last May 29th.) It's from your tree. (Mother holds the flowers for a long time, then gives them back to Sujata) I've put something there. For you and Satprem. Page 194

December 9, 1972 (Mother caresses the flowers Sujata has just brought her.) I still have my cold.... (Satprem:) But you look better, Mother. Yes. It isn't really a "cold." Page 322 Yes, I am sure.... I felt there was a cyclone ... a real cyclone within. (Mother laughs) There WAS a cyclone within. (silence) Obviously, everything is designed so that the only ... (I can't find the word in French) reliance, the only support is in the Divine. But I am not told what the "Divine" is - how do you like that! ... Everything else is collapsing, except the ... the ... the what? The Divine ... something - what? ... One feels it. It can't be described or defined in an

December 20, 1972 Do you have anything to ask? I had a question about Sri Aurobindo. I was wondering whatstage he had reached when he left - what stage in the transfor mation? For instance, what difference is there between the work you are doing now and what he was doing at the time? Page 326 He had accumulated a great deal of supramental force in his body, and as soon as he left he.... He was on his bed, you see, and I was standing beside him, and all the supramental force that was in him passed quite concretely from his body into mine - so concretely that I thought it was visible. I could feel the friction of the passage. It was extraordinary - extraordinary!

February 10, 1972 (A note from Mother) Human consciousness is so corrupt that peopleprefer the misery and ignorance of the ego to the luminous joy that comes from sincere surrender to the Divine. Their blindness is so great that they refuse even to attempt the experience and prefer to be subjected to the misery of their ego rather than make the necessary effort to free themselves from it. Their blindness is so total that they would nothesitate to make the Divine a slave to their ego, if such a thing were possible, just to avoid giving themselves to the Divine. Page 62

July 29, 1972 What I told you last time is not to be published - it's all right for the Agenda. I mean what I said about the people around me. Yes, Mother, of course, all that is strictly for "the Agenda. Everything personal is for the Agenda. Yes, yes, of course. (Mother unties a garland of flowers from her wrist) Do you like patience? I don't know if I like it, but it's useful! (Mother laughs and gives Satprem a garland) I have plenty! (two or three garlands around her wrist!) What do you have to tell me? Nothing. I feel the ... churning one is put through. Oh! ... Sometimes it feels as if something were ... raging ferociously. Yes, exactly. As if to

February 19, 1972 (Mother gazes at Satprem for a long time.) Do you see something? (Mother plunges in. Half an hour goes by) No inclination to speak unless you put questions.... [[This sentence was said in English. ]] Am I getting a little closer? Oh, you're doing very well, mon petit! That.... Page 67 (Mother takes Satprem's hands long silence) Last time, my impression was that the old man in you had awakened in order to be transformed. But only you can know.... I felt that because he was a totally different man from the one I know now. But only you can tell me if he has actually been transformed or if he has disappeared. I don't know. I think he's tryi

And Now Then the door was shut. She was to live for another six months, 182 days. Two days before the "end," she kept repeating, "I want to walk ... I want to walk...." Before my eyes, they drove twenty-five screws into her coffin. There was a ray of sun on the nape of her neck; her hands were tightly clasped together - there was such strength in those hands! Such power in that supposedly dead body. And then that fierce concentration. She wore a white silk dress and a small blouse with gold buttons. The long saga unfolds before my eyes - so many years with that young girl's laughter rippling through everything, and the silences of snow, the beating of wings through boundless spa