February 20, 1968 (In the weeks preceding February 21, her ninetieth birthday, Mother has had hardly any time to eat or sleep, spending hours to see people, work, write letters and so on. Satprem remarks that she does not look tired.) If there weren't people's thought, the collective suggestion, and maybe - maybe - a subconscious suggestion (the cells may possibly still be subject to a subconscious suggestion, that's possible ...), otherwise, with a few seconds of ... (gesture of drawing within), like that, plunging back into the Supreme Consciousness - every Page 63 thing is fine, I am never hungry (and don't feel the need to eat), I am never sleepy (and don't

April 3, 1968 (In continuation of the conversation of March 20, 1968, regarding the member of the Roman Curia.) Have you seen P.L. again? No. I saw him yesterday. He spoke to me, but I didn't hear. I don't know what he told me. But I VERY STRONGLY had - very strongly, and it lasted a long time - the sense of the beginning, the commencement ... the start of something like an action or a series of events that would have great importance for the development of the earth.[[This would seem to be the continuation or concretization of the movement begun in 1967 with Mother's note, "Christianity deifies suffering to make it the instrument of the earth's salvation" (July 29, 1967), th

May 11, 1968 (A disciple has written an article on the Ashram's future in which she said in particular, "The Ashram will become an occult center, a select collectivity....") I am not at all anxious for advertisement or publicity for the Ashram. It's not necessary at all. It's not necessary to talk about the Ashram - (laughing) the true way to make it "occult" is not to talk about it! * * * I saw P.L. I also saw J.'s children, [[J. is PL.'s friend. ]] and the boy told me, "I want to be your warrior to conquer and defend the Truth." Very sweet, this little boy, very sweet! As for him [P.L.], it's mostly imagination. There are occult troubles, but ... But as soon

September 28, 1968 Are you better? I am very much bothered. I have a sort of constant brain fatiguewith headaches, aching eyes, and everything seems veiled. Ah, mon petit, it's those animals.... It was the same thing with me during that so-called illness: I was as if wrapped inside a cloak of gray cotton wool. And it hasn't gone, it's there, at a distance. It presses all around. It's troublesome. Yes, Mother, it disrupts my work a lot. Doing an ordinary worktires me, but as soon as I want to write or do something creative, it immediately gets blocked, it becomes painful, my eyes ache and I can't work anymore. Do you eat well? Oh, yes, very well.... And I've

June 22, 1968 Do you have news of P.L.? No, I just know he's left for Rome.[[A telegram from Msgr. R. abruptly recalled P.L. to Rome: "New rules Roman Curia demand your immediate return else your position compromised." ]] He's arrived. I wonder, because ... You feel something's wrong? I have a very strong suspicion about the famous "friend" [Msgr. R.], because he was the one who told P.L. to come here (you remember how he insisted P. L. should come), and now he's saying P. L. came here to live with a woman. And he's the one who arranged everything so P.L. would stay with J.! I have a very strong suspicion. Haven't they laid a terrible trap for him? ... He's expecting a s

June 18, 1968 (Regarding an unpublished letter of Sri Aurobindo.) K. asks me if this is correct. (Question) One thing is strange. One never feels sex- vibrations when touching Europeans while one can hardly touch Orientals without feeling it either at the time or by memory afterwards. Does this means that the Europeans are purer than Orientals? (Sri Aurobindo) "No they are not purer, but they live more in the mental and less in the vital ... Well, not anymore! Since the war everything has changed. "... Therefore sex is with most of them, less pas sionate and preoccupying than with most Indians. This is at least true of the English and Americans, Page 171

August 10, 1968 (Mother looks a little stronger: she remains standing while giving flowers to Satprem and Sujata. Satprem gives Mother the offering of his pension.) Satprem has become a rich man! (Mother laughs) Is there nothing we had to do? ... I am sure I had to show you something ... which I had to do with you. (silence) It's something I did with you last night. (Mother goes into a long contemplation) There's a perceptible improvement, but it's still impossible to speak. Did you have something to ask? What's the time?... Quarter past eleven. It's a LONG TIME since I could rest so peacefully - a long time. [[Satprem will not see Mother again for

September 7, 1968 Someone has sent me a quotation from Sri Aurobindo which seems very good for the November issue of the Bulletin, it's from Thoughts and Glimpses: "The changes we see in the world today are intellec tual, moral, physical in their ideal and intention: the spiritual revolution waits for its hour and throws up meanwhile its waves here and there. Until it comes, the sense of the others cannot be understood and till then all interpretations of present happening and forecast of man's future are vain things. For its nature, power, event are that which will determine the next cycle of our humanity." Sri Aurobindo (1917) The quotation of August,

October 16, 1968 What do you have to say? Nothing?... It's sad to see you like this. I don't understand what's going on. Unless it's all the same thing [from the Vatican], but then it's really very obstinate. Oh, the other day, I got a wave of their magic. It came back and went away. It remained for a day. Ah? It's something that takes hold of the brain and leaves you in a daze. No, today it isn't the brain, it's ... (After a long silence) I can't even say what it is. Page 281 Doesn't Sri Aurobindo say anything? I haven't seen him these last few days. (long silence) I don't understand. I do nothing but cough all the time. This state I am in now b

October 5, 1968 (Mother is unwell again. Satprem could not see her for a week.) Everything is in a daze. I can no longer see, no longer hear, I spend my nights coughing. The doctor can't make any sense of it. Medically, everything is supposed to work very well, then in a few minutes everything gets disorganized. I see you as if through a thick fog. All that is inside seems to want to come outside.... I am familiar with this sort of magic. V. has had another vision. He went to the Vatican. To the Vatican! ... In his sleep? He wasn't asleep: he could hear the noise of the [Ashram's]generator. It was a vision at 5:30 in the morning. He found himself in an immen