April 23, 1968 (Mother shows a brochure on Auroville; the first photograph in it shows the all-white urn under a vast sky.) It's very fine. It has something ... I don't know (Mother drives Page 110 her fist down into the Earth), like a Law of Destiny: something that imposes itself. (silence) Did I tell you that a Swedish or Norwegian lady wants to send me a big crucifixion?... I did. But I didn't show you the two texts. You see, I chose a photo of the galaxy, then a photo of Auroville that somewhat looks like the first, and then, under the crucifixion, we'll have in big letters (Mother reads): "The Divine Consciousness crucified by man's desires." Then, in ver

December 11, 1968 (Mother reads out the message she intends to give for the new year, 1969:) No words - acts. * * * (To Sujata:) What do you want for your birthday? Page 343 I want to offer myself more integrally. Offering is you - giving is me! * * * (Then Mother listens to Satprem reading an old Playground Talk of July 22, 1953.) These are things I would certainly no longer write now! ... But anyway, they are true on their level (gesture at ground level). (silence) The experience is continuing and becoming increasingly conscious and almost practical. When someone comes, I seem to see ... almost to measure the quantity of veils preventing him

October 23, 1968 I've been given a quotation from Sri Aurobindo.... I find it very interesting. "What happens is for the 'best' in this sense only that the end will be a divine victory in spite of all difficulties - that has been and always will be my Page 285 seeing, my faith and my assurance - if you are willing to accept it from me." Sri Aurobindo December 28, 1931 I find it very interesting. Because when people are told, "It will be for the best," they always think it's the best as they imagine it! * * * (Mother goes into a meditation, then abruptly comes out of it:) And your book? [[By the Body of the Earth or the Sannyasin. ]] It's not easy....

November 16, 1968 It's the physical being educated. When the vital and the mind are there, they use the physical as an instrument for their will and whims - usually it has no independent life. So then, in the space of a few days, a few weeks, it has been educated all over again. It remembered all the experiences it had and sorted them out again, so to speak, and it has reached a sort of homogeneity wholly centered around the divine Presence. It has had several experiences of this Presence.... Spontaneously, for the body, it's a "conscious Light"; a conscious Light it sees everywhere, feels everywhere, whose presence it constantly feels. But once or twice it saw a figure. That su

August 7, 1968 (As Satprem goes upstairs to see Mother, he meets the doctor coming downstairs, who informs him that Mother has chest pain and her heart is in poor condition. Mother is sitting on her couch, very pale.) We have to do the translation of the message for the 15th of August. Page 221 I chose this (Mother holds out a paper to Satprem): "One needs to have a calm heart, a settled will, entire self-abnegation and the eyes constantly fixed on the beyond to live undiscouraged in times like these which are truly a period of universal decom position."[[From a letter from Sri Aurobindo to Mother in France. ]] Sri Aurobindo May 6, 1915 (silence)

July 10, 1968 Mother sorts out letters There's little S. who wrote me a letter - quite a desperate letter in which she said she didn't want to live anymore. Because she'd done some foolish things. So I answered her that one doesn't live for one's own satisfaction: one lives to discover the Divine and identify with him. And so, it's not a question of "pleasure" or "no pleasure." I wrote very strongly and sent the letter. Since then, absolute Page 194 silence! No one budges anymore. (another letter) This is Y. trying to show me I was wrong and she was right. Very well! Let her remain convinced she's right, it's the same to me! (Mother laughs) (a note of Mother's) "A

January 31, 1968 It's strange, I have suddenly been forbidden to speak, as it were, and ... I don't know how to explain it, I feel as if I were talking from a distance. I don't know how to explain. And that's what has given me this husky voice (Mother's voice is a little hoarse). I think it's undergoing a sort of transformation. Previously, there used to be great control over the voice, the sound of the voice - it's all gone! It's as if I made something speak that's very far from me. It will pass. (silence) And for everything, everything ... there is a change in the MODE of being. For the nights too: the nights are very different - all that was organized, very regular, very or

August 22, 1968 (Satprem has not seen Mother since August 10. According to the doctor, her heart is weak, she does not eat anymore and can no longer remain standing. Yet she appeared for five minutes at the balcony for the darshan of August 15, but P., Mother's bodyguard, and V., her attendant, were behind and beside her, ready to support her. She looked so pale in her Page 225 silver cloak. This morning, August 22, she has sent Satprem a note and soup packets, remembering even his material needs. Her handwriting is quite changed.) August 22, 1968 Here are some soups, you must not have any left. This time, it is TRULY interesting - but a bit

March 30, 1968 (For some time Mother has looked grave.) You look grave? I am all right. But I can't speak. Things are fine, it's ... what could I call it? (Mother remains silent) ... The universalization Page 90 of the body consciousness - high-sounding words! But that's what it is. Very interesting. But I'd rather not speak. But things are fine. This morning again, it was very, VERY interesting. But I can't talk about it yet. We'll see after some time. [[In August there will take place the second great - and dangerous - turning point in Mother's yoga, after the one of April, 1962. Mother's voice is already beginning to have a different timbre, as though she were sp

June 26, 1968 Have you received news of P.L.? This morning in fact, I was worrying a bit about him. I feel as if he has been ... swallowed up in a hole. I didn't like that. * * * Satprem reads a text of Sri Aurobindo: "The fear of death and the aversion to bodily cessation are the stigma left by his animal origin on the human being. That brand must be utterly effaced." ( The Synthesis of Yoga, xx.334) Page 178 I didn't know that. It's very interesting! Very interesting in the sense that before one can reach the condition in which death isn't necessary, one must absolutely find it ... entirely natural, an unimportant event. It's chiefly that - something of very l