November 9, 1968 (Bharatidi's death marked a sort of turning point in Mother's life, or the beginning of an unfortunate series: Amrita, Mother's faithful treasurer, was going to leave a few months later, in January 1969, followed by Pavitra in May 1969; then Mother's personal attendant, Vasudha, would fall gravely ill in August 1970, and finally Mother's cashier, Satyakarma, would leave in December 1970. Thus the few reliable disciples around Mother were going away - why this migration?... The atmos phere was going to change greatly: "I am surrounded by False hood.... They are all lying!... A general dishonesty," she was soon to say.) She's gone, Bharatidi.

May 4, 1968 (Mother gives a flower called "Divine Purity": Isotoma longiflora.) Do you know this? Page 122 Sri Aurobindo's definition of purity is being exclusively under the influence of the Divine. So naturally, the Divine is exclusively under his own influence (!), and that's purity! Any news regarding P.L.? He is expected today. A "new fact," he said, what can it be?... As for me, I had a strong, very strong impression that they wanted to get rid of him, in the sense that either it was the Pope who didn't want to hear him, or, more likely, it was his friend, Monsignor R., who didn't want the Pope to hear what he had to say. It's a very strong impression. I m

March 20, 1968 There's a problem. It's about P.L. - do you know who he is?[[A visitor who has been staying in the Ashram for some time. ]] No. He is one of the dignitaries of the Roman Curia. I don't understand! He is a Catholic? He's going to be appointed bishop in [such and such a country]. ...!!! So there's a problem. He is an important person, and he wantsto leave everything - this whole Christianity he rejects, he no longer wants it. He wants to leave his Church, his episcopate, everything, and remain here. He has "found" something here. Page 85 Yes, I saw that man: he was very much attached. Yes, and he wants to leave everything. But it's

November 6, 1968 (Regarding a visit paid by Satprem to Bharatidi, an old French disciple, at the Vellore hospital where she is to be operated on. Bharatidi, a member of France's Far East College, is well known for her sparkling wit and liveliness and her biting irony.) So did you go and see Bharatidi? Yes, Mother. She is fine, this Bharatidi, what force she has! And what sense of humor - she is really a queen. Yes. There's a great nobleness in that woman. Oh, yes. Did you give her my note? Yes, tears came to her eyes. They're going to operate on her tomorrow. Tomorrow morning. But I wondered if it was really indispensable. They don't even kno

May 29, 1968 (Mother looks for a vase for an amaryllis, intending to put it together with roses.) Roses don't like that at all! They don't want it. They don't want to have someone else with them.... But I'll put it with them just the same! (Mother, laughing, sticks the amaryllis in the middle of the roses) They have a spirit of caste! * * * Soon afterwards There's a letter from T.F. complaining about the films shown [at Page 148 the Ashram] and saying that films should be instructive and show admirable things.... But for a film to show admirable things, people should live those admirable things, no?! She even wrote to me that they were a whole group of te

April 24, 1968 (Message given by Mother) "In the spiritual order of things, the higher we project our view and our aspiration, the greater the Truth that seeks to descend upon us, because it is already there within us and calls for its release from the covering that conceals it in manifested Nature." Sri Aurobindo Page 113

December 25, 1968 I met X. [[A Tantric whom Satprem followed in the past. ]] Oh! Yes, by chance. I didn't intend to see him, then I forgot he washere and walked by his street. And he was on his doorstep. I didn't turn back, I went and saw him. What did he tell you? Kind ... But I had the feeling that what had been there in thepast was no longer there.... I always had the impression of a blue light around him (that was my impression in the past), but Page 353 I didn't have that sensation of power or force.... Maybe it was something you had put there? I did wonder.... Because the impression I had of him THROUGH YOU was far better than he is, far sup

February 14, 1968 (Regarding certain disciples, who are the very ones that will head the Ashram in the years after Mother's departure.) ... But it's very, very instructive. I mean, it's not anything new to me, but it's the wholly clear, precise, evident picture that it's man who creates all his difficulties. Things would be simple and easy if there weren't all these ego reactions: reactions of ambition, reactions of self-esteem - not to speak of deceit: when that comes ... (gesture underhand). Yes, these three things: ambition, with the need to show off, to dominate; self-esteem or vanity (being hurt when you aren't appreciated at your true value: then you lose your temper, you qua

April 10, 1968 P.L. has left. He had me asked for "blessings packets" to help him ... (laughing) through four different people, to make sure he got them! He said about the same thing to everyone - that he was about to do something very hard and he needed my very active help.... So I gave four packets! It occurred to me to ask him to wire me as soon as he knows the date and time of his interview with the Pope. It's a good idea. It seems he is a minister's son.... I forget who he confided in, but he said his father is (or was) prime minister in [such and such a country], and he himself is a lawyer and manages several people's fortunes. He said he has to manage something like t

March 9, 1968 (Regarding an old Playground Talk of May 27, 1953, in which Mother says in particular, "When the consciousness behind is developed, when you have the power to concentrate it, whatever you do that consciousness will act.") That was this morning's very experience. The experience was like this: the important thing is to keep the consciousness of the Presence, which means that the Presence must be concrete; then, in everything you do, everything you say - whatever you may do, whatever you may say - it's this Presence that expresses itself. And this morning's experience was to find the difference between the direct expression and the more or less veiled expression