November 7, 1964 Mother looks very pale. For the past three days there has been a constant phenomenon: something ... I don't know what it is ... as if the whole head were being emptied (Mother shows the blood going downward). Physically, that's what you feel before fainting, as if all the blood were leaving the head: the head empties, and then you faint. The first time it came was the day before yesterday; I was resting (after lunch I rest for half an hour), and at the end of my rest, suddenly I see myself - I see myself standing near my bed, very tall, with a magnificent dress, and with someone dressed in white beside me. And I saw this just when I seemed about to faint:

November 25, 1964 (The following conversation is about the collective meditation of the day before, November 24, a darshan day.) So, what about you? What's new? Nothing new? - and what's old?! (laughter) (silence) Yesterday, during the meditation, I don't know what happened, but when they rang the gong for the end, I absolutely had the feeling it had just started! As soon as the meditation started, something descended: a stillness, but a very comfortable stillness, extraordinarily comfortable, and then ... finished, nothing, blank - completely blank. I was like that all the time at the table, [[Mother remains seated in front of her table during the meditations. ]] when sud

February 26, 1964 Mother's left eye is very bloodshot Does your eye hurt? My eye? It doesn't hurt?? I don't know.... Is there something? Yes. Oh! I didn't see.... It hurt this morning, and then ... Strange, no one told me anything. All right, that's all I needed! I won't be able to do anything at all. It hurt, but I didn't give it thought. Is it very red? Not as much as sometimes.... But here, when you look down, it's very red. When you lower your eyelid, there is an entire bloodshot area, up to the iris. So it has started again.... All right. It's such an avalanche, you know.... If one could do the work quietly, without having to rush ... it wouldn

September 16, 1964 103 - Vivekananda, exalting Sannyasa, [[Sannyasa: renunciation of works and worldly life. ]] has said that in all Indian history there is only one Janaka.[[King of Mithila at the time of the Upanishads, famed for his spiritual knowledge and divine realization, even though he led a worldly life. ]] Not so, for Janaka is not the name of a single individual, but a dynasty of self-ruling kings and the triumph-cry of an ideal. Page 189 104 - In all the lakhs of ochre-clad Sannyasins, [[Sannyasin: a wandering monk who has renounced works and worldly life. ]] how many are perfect? It is the few attainments and the many approximations that justify an ideal. 105

January 25, 1964 In the Illustrated Weekly they have published photographs of the Pope's visit to Palestine, and there is one in which he is prostrating himself: he is kissing the ground on the Mount of Olives, where Christ, as the story goes, was informed that he would be crucified. Page 36 It put me again in contact with that man. And his intention is clear: to make religion quite real, in the sense that it isn't a myth, it isn't a legend - it's truly God who came, and so on. So, to him, this is "human greatness" prostrating itself before the "divine sacrifice." There is another photograph in which he is embracing the Patriarch of the Orthodox Church - heretics formerl

April 24, 1964 The same experience came back to me later; it isn't another "version" or another way of saying it, it's the experience that suddenly came back so acutely, so intensely (Mother reads her note): "Human beings are so powerless, so imperfect, so incomplete! The "incomplete" was the strongest of the three - so incomplete! "Only the all-powerful rule of Truth and Love upon earth can make life tolerable." It's like a continuation - but it didn't come as a continuation: it's the experience that came back. As if something in the consciousness of THE EARTH felt an urgent and irrevocable need for this change - for the change, for the new creation. As if the consciousness

August 11, 1964 (About the Tantric guru announcing his coming visit:) ... He has sent me his usual message: it's a sort of picture with all the colors. You know that Tantrism attributes a value to each color; they make a sort of play of forces with all those colors, depending on what they want to say or express - they're lights, very brightly colored lights. It's very particular; the first time I saw that, it was connected with Tantrism. And the other day there came to me ... (in a slightly ironical tone) a very beautiful picture, this big (gesture: about six inches by twelve). So I knew it was coming from him and that he was happy! * * * Soon afterwards There was an experie

March 11, 1964 I'll read you something. It concerns an American who came here full of all the American ideas, who did a survey of everything (the way the services are organized and so on), and who sent me his report in which he says that everything lacks organization, a mental structure.... I didn't intend to answer him, but the day before yesterday, just when I was going to retire for the night, Sri Aurobindo told me insistently - he came and told me, "Here is what you must say to T." And he insisted until I had written it down - I was forced to write it! Sri Aurobindo has told us (it's he himself who said it) and we are convinced by experience that above the mind there is a consc

July 15, 1964 (Mother reads an answer she wrote in English to a disciple, in which she says in particular:) ... to be grateful, never to forget this wonderful Grace of the Supreme who leads each one to his divine goal by the shortest ways, in spite of himself, his ignorance and misunderstanding, in spite of the ego, its protests and its revolts. June 26, 1964 Page 125 What's written here is such a true experience! Never to forget this wonderful Grace of the Supreme who leads you straight to your true goal, in spite of all your revolt, all your misunderstanding - straight, imperturbably. You cry out, you weep, you protest, you revolt.... "I will lead you right to the end

August 26, 1964 (By some quirk of the tape recorder (?) the following conversation, which is so important, was almost inaudible, as if veiled, and Satprem was unable to save the recording, though he was able to save his notes. It should be said that his tape recorder was quite patched up - Mother never wanted him to borrow the Ashram's machines, except for "official recordings.") I wanted to point out to you an article in the "Reader's Digest" on the structure of the cell according to the latest scientific discoveries. [[Reader's Digest, August 1964: "Inner Space of Living Cells," by Rutherford Platt. ]] I thought it might throw light on certain aspects of your experiences. They spea