March 28, 1964 The big difficulty is that all of N.'s experiences are in his mind. He has worked in his mind, transformed his mind; he has experiences, he's had all the experiences - but IN THE MIND: not at all in the body. But then all that I am saying here, all these experiences I have now are in the body - he doesn't understand. That's the difficulty. He cannot understand. And who can? ... I don't know: As soon as it concerns mental things, he understands perfectly well; as soon as it concerns material things, he doesn't understand anymore. But who can understand?... I can't say I "understand," but ... You feel. Page 97 I transpose. I transpose a truth that I underst

October 17, 1964 You? Me, I am going through all the phases, but fortunately very quickly, in a few hours - two, three hours - with new phases.... Anyway, rather unpleasant things. * * * Page 242 (Regarding the cards Mother sends the disciples on their birthdays. Those cards generally contain an indication of the effort or realization to be achieved during the new year.) ... What a work it is, you know! You understand, with people from outside (about 200 people to whom I also send cards, maybe a little more), and all the Ashram people (except for very rare exceptions), it makes about 1,500 cards a year. There are only 365 days; so you can figure out how many cards

January 31, 1964 Mother reads the text of a message she has just given: I wrote it in English yesterday: The only hope for the future is in a change of man's consciousness and the change is bound to come. But it is left to men to decide if they will collaborate in this change or if it will have to be enforced upon them by the power of crushing circumstances. Then, at the end, I put: So, wake up and collaborate. There seems to be a "push from behind" - I don't know how I could explain it to you.... I feel something, as if from behind a veil something were pushing and saying, "Come on! Move on, now!" As if everything were almost completely asleep and there were, behind, so

January 29, 1964 Mother reads a few extracts from letters of Sri Aurobindo: I have here three quotations on difficulties.... They apply so marvelously now! Sri Aurobindo wrote them in ... 1946, '47, '48 - the dark hours. And things are repeating themselves now: "The Mother's victory is essentially a victory of each sadhak over himself. It can only be then that any external form of work can come to a harmonious perfection." November 12, 1937 Then this one, which is very interesting: Page 41 "I know that this is a time of trouble for you and everybody. It is so for the whole world. Confusion, trouble, disorder and upset everywhere is the general state of things. The

September 26, 1964 I'd rather not talk, because ... It is a terribly dark labor and without clearly visible effects. There are people who proclaim they perform miracles with my name or my force - bringing dying people back to life, wonderful things, anyway. To me, it immediately smacks of the ego a mile off; and the ego means vital entities taking advantage of it. I don't like that. It's a labor of every minute, without a break, night and day. Last night again ... I went through strange places with people I know very well and whom I am seeing in that way for the first time. As if I went into all sorts of places I'd never been to before, in which fantastic things occur: in wh

October 14, 1964 You seem to have quite a cold! Yes! (Mother laughs) It's odd, I have been with people who had all sorts of things, including fever, and I didn't catch anything;, and the other day, Z came.... They have again made a mess at the School, they are seized with such terrible whims of independence! Do you know the story? ... They put together a big display board on "sleep" for the children's education (that's their affair), but then they put at the bottom, without asking for my permission, a quotation of mine, which I am supposed to have written in 1952 and in which I Page 232 am supposed to have said that children should be in bed by 9. Now, they show films

Undated, 1964 (Note from Mother to Satprem) The old dreams of the past will turn into meaningful realities. Page 15

November November 4, 1964 (Mother points to a pile of papers on her table:) You see, it's all like that, it's a snowball. All my life it's been like that with everything I touch, everything I do: it snowballs. So when it comes to material things, you're absolutely deluged! And now my time is spent like that. Every day, ten, twenty people ask to see me - it's impossible. And yet, as far as I can, I do it.... Those birthday cards ... here alone there are 1,200 or 1,300 (in a year, that makes quite a few every day), but that's nothing, there are all the people from outside, entire families! So every day I write twenty, twenty-five cards.... But one can't say anything, it's good. It'

June 27, 1964 (From Satprem to Sujata) Chatou-Chambery ... I don't feel tired - what tires me is rather human beings with their constant agitation and troubled atmosphere. Anyway, I am happy to be with my brother. The difficulty is that I no longer know how to speak, I have lost the habit of conversation, and people talk and talk, ask questions without giving you time to answer, and in that whirl it is quite hard to pull down true words. In fact, my only rest is when I am alone doing my japa; then everything seems to open, to relax, and I feel I am back home. Otherwise I am like a cork tossed about on the sea and turned in all directions. People don't live - they bustle about. It is

October 30, 1964 I feel we are turning a corner. It's very narrow. Do you know mountain roads?... All of a sudden, you come to a corner, a sharp turn, and you can't see the other side - below is a precipice, behind is the rock - and the path ... it would seem to have grown narrower in order to turn the corner, it's become quite narrow. I've encountered that in the mountains - often. And now, I feel we are turning the corner; but we are beginning to turn it, in the sense that we are beginning to see the other side, and the consciousness (always the body consciousness) is on the verge of a bedazzlement, like the first glimpses of something marvelous - not positively unexpected because