June 20, 1961 (Following a meditation with X.) We've been having these meditations for four days now and this is the fourth day of total silence - motionless, soundless (I don't know if there is sound outside or not; I don't know anything). A complete immobility right to the end. Page 228 When all is immobile like that and nothing seems to happen, is something happening? Something happening? I don't know. But that state IN ITSELF is something. When the body is conscious of that it means precisely that it has come out of its narrowness - it is the same Infinite as the one you get when out of the body. What I do now when X comes is take it all (gesture from below to above) and

November 23, 1961 I'm going to play you ten minutes of music. I have taken a vow of silence. It is very good; it does me good! Bring me a stool. (music) Page 390

November 16, 1961 In the middle of my walk, I go into trance, something that has never happened to me before! I find myself standing, immobilized, entirely surrounded by white light, in total silence, with absolutely nothing in my head - nothing. Standing up in that state is rather dangerous, so I lie down on my bed. And it continues - I hear nothing, see nothing but this white light. No more thought, not one idea in my head, nothing at all, to such an extent that if anyone enters noiselessly, I don't know it. But I do feel the pressure of someone watching me; I can sense it, so I open my eyes and there is actually someone there. But work, mon petit.... I can't work. I can't reme

April April 7, 1961 X tells me you're feeling better now.... X hears about it from the doctor. He asks the doctor and the doctor tells him whatever he likes. X says to him, 'I will completely cure her,' and the doctor replies, 'That's impossible - it can't be cured!' So X says, 'You have no faith,' and the doctor replies, 'You're living in illusions'! The truth is that the body is holding its own quite well. But it's a formidable affair. They [[See conversations of February 11 (p. 73) and March 7 (p. 114). ]] are multiplying by the millions; so you can see it will take time to get rid of them! They circulate throughout the body, sometimes for two, three or four hours at night,

September September 3, 1961 (The beginning of this conversation has unfortunately disappeared. It dealt with the book that Satprem was writing on Sri Aurobindo, and he spoke to Mother of his dream of writing automatically, without even needing to think, letting the writing flow along by itself.) ... You would like to carry thought into higher domains, beyond the province of thought itself! ... This is something practically impossible. You understand, if I were British and writing in English, I could try to do a book on Sri Aurobindo using 'Savitri' alone. With quotations from Savitri one can maintain a certain poetical rhythm, and this rhythm can generate an opening. But in

August 5, 1961 (Mother gives Satprem some flowers.) This is Skill in Works. [[Phlox. ]] And Mahalakshmi, [[Nymphea (Water Lily), pure white with golden center. ]] which means success. Tomorrow I'm going downstairs. Oh, yes? You didn't know? Tomorrow is Sunday, I'm distributing saris and napkins. Page 301 So, mon petit, do you have any questions? Not many more. Some small details. [[For the preparation of Satprem's book on Sri Aurobindo. ]] Could you hand me a fan? The mosquitoes are a nuisance. Well then? First of all, in the 'Questions and Answers' you speak of the 'reversal of consciousness.' Is this synonymous with the psychic realizati

Undated (Regarding the ego and the ancient religious initiations which taught: 'You are That' or 'You are the All.) A moment comes when self-observation is no longer possible. Even in these expressions 'All is You' or 'You are the All' (and the same holds for 'You are the Divine' or 'The Divine is you'), there is still something watching. A moment comes - it comes in flashes and doesn't easily remain - when it's the All who thinks, the All who knows, the All who feels, the All who lives. There's not even - not even - the feeling that you have reached this state. Then it is good. But up to this point there is still a small corner [of the 'I'] somewhere - generally the observer

May 12, 1961 Aphorism 60 - There is no mortality. it is only the Immortal who can die; the mortal could neither be born nor perish. Page 203 The Immortal can pass from the condition of life to the condition of death (but not 'death' as we understand it); 'can die' means 'can change condition.' The Immortal can pass from this condition to that condition and back and forth again. We call it 'death,' but it has nothing to do with either life or death. They are changes of state. (silence) I've had this notebook [[The notebook of a disciple who asks questions on the Aphorisms which Mother 'must' answer regularly. ]] for days - don't feel like answering. You're not well?

September 10, 1961 (Concerning the tantric guru:) Has A. spoken to you about this? ... X told him that you were the bridge between him and me (he even spoke in English): 'Oh, Satprem was the bridge.' (Mother smiles) And a second later he added, 'But now we don't need it anymore!' (Mother laughs merrily) I was much amused! * (A little later, regarding the book on Sri Aurobindo:) Anything one can write is so flat, so flat in comparison with what one perceives! Yes, in comparison with Sri Aurobindo's contact (the vibration that comes from him, if you like), it always seems meager, always flat. Even the most ... you know, spiritual experiences that have been described,

April 15, 1961 I am in a state that is ... how can I put it? ... Non-existent. Nonexistent because .... I would rather say nothing. Let's work. * (Later, after the work:) All kinds of things are coming up from the subconscient. We seem to be constantly descending instead of ascending. Oh, the subconscient! Every night it's a real invasion of things that are so ... the WHOLE subconscient keeps coming up, coming up, coming up - not just mine but everybody's. There seems to be no end to it. But now I have the knack of forgetting - I just forget. Because when I used to remember, I had to fight for entire days. So as soon as I wake up, I erase it right away: go away! Go