April 25, 1961 (Mother comes in with a book by Alice Bailey, 'Discipleship in the New Age,' which had recently been sent to her. Pavitra is present and shows Mother a brochure he has received, 'World Goodwill Bulletin,' and protests against this proliferation of movements all claiming to work towards 'world union,' and proselytes making so-called 'spiritual' propaganda without having found, within and by themselves, the true spiritual foundation. Mother goes on.) But these people just can't get out of their education! Here is a lady [A. Bailey], quite renowned, it seems (she's dead now), who became the disciple of a Tibetan lama ... and she still speaks of Christ as the sole Avatar

October October 2, 1961 1 was holding one of these flowers [Integral Generosity [[Impatiens balsamina. ]] ] in my hand when I saw Z, and I explained to him what I meant by 'integral generosity.' The effect of the ego, I told him, is to shrivel the being. It's the cause of aging, it dries you up - the being shrivels under it like a withering flower. And as I was speaking to him, the experience came; all I remember now is the idea, but the idea is nothing - the experience itself was there. I know that at a certain moment I was making the distinction between the two states, between the person - the individual, personal being - turning towards the Lord, imploring Him to reveal His Will

January 31, 1961 (Concerning the experience related on January 24, of the supramental Force reorganizing the activity of each center of consciousness. The experience ended in a deep trance: 'I slipped into trance...') I neglected to mention something very important. At the moment of my coming out of the trance, I had a very concrete, positive perception (not a mental understanding, it didn't come from the being's intellectual part, the part that understands and explains everything and Is symbolized, I think, by Indra; it wasn't in any way conveyed through that higher intelligence, it wasn't mental). A kind of perception (not really a sensation, it was more than a sensation) of the

M o t h e r's   A g e n d a   September 10, 1961 September 10, 1961 (Concerning the tantric guru:) Has A. spoken to you about this? ... X told him that you were the bridge between him and me (he even spoke in English): 'Oh, Satprem was the bridge.' (Mother smiles) And a second later he added, 'But now we don't need it anymore!' (Mother laughs merrily) I was much amused! * (A little later, regarding the book on Sri Aurobindo:) Anything one can write is so flat, so flat in comparison with what one perceives! Yes, in comparison with Sri Aurobindo's contact (the vibration that comes from him, if you like), it always seems meager, always flat. Even the most ... you know, spiritual experiences th

January 17, 1961 51 - When I hear of a righteous wrath, I wonder at man's capacity for self-deception. What do you have to say? Our self-deception is always in good faith! We always act for the welfare of others or in the interests of humanity and to serve you (that goes without saying!). How exactly do we deceive ourselves? I would like to ask you a question in turn - because there are two ways of understanding your question. It can be taken in the same ironic or humorous tone that Sri Aurobindo has used in his aphorism when he wonders at man's capacity for self-deception. That is, you are putting yourself in the place of the self-deceiver and saying, 'But I am of good f

March 14, 1961 I haven't done anything, haven't worked, answered questions or prepared anything for the Bulletin - nothing at all. You saw the people waiting in the corridor; when I left the other day they kept me there three-quarters of an hour and when I finally went upstairs I was ill. Not really ill but not well. So once again it's all called into question. (Mother goes on to the work and listens to the reading of an old Talk of September 26, 1956, to be used in the Bulletin. In it she speaks of moments of opening in the yoga: 'Then there are days when you are in contact with the divine Consciousness, with the Grace, and all is tinged, colored by this Presence, and things whi

December 18, 1961 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Sweet Mother, A long letter from the publisher. He has understood NOTHING, felt nothing in this book, finding it 'too abstract.' In a word, they won't accept it without extensive modifications and 'explanations.' May your will be done, With love, Signed: Satprem (Mother's reply affixed to Satprem's letter.) This was to be expected. But don't go and spoil your book just to make it digestible for them. We shall publish it here, taking out the unnecessary pictures - having only a few will make the book more interesting. I suppose you can return their money and cancel the contract - but reserve the right to

March March 4, 1961 (Mother gives Satprem a ruffled mauve petunia.) Look, it's Enthusiasm, see how beautiful it is! It must be put in water right away, otherwise.... It needs vital force and water is vital force. It's lovely! What fantasy! And this one is the Consciousness one with the Divine Consciousness, [[Hibiscus, double flower, light pink. ]] but supramentalized - beginning to be supramentalized. And here is a very pretty Promise of Realization [[Nasturtium. ]] , and here's Balance [[Begonia. ]] and ... the Peace of Faithfulness. [[Portlandia grandiflora. ]] There you are, mon petit. Now then, anything to ask? (silence) Oh, it's dreadful, each one ... (Mother is

June 6, 1961 (Mother arrives looking weary. Satprem asks if she is tired.) No.... I had finished reading the Veda and wanted to take up The Life Divine, but as I had never read On Himself, [[Sri Aurobindo's letters on his life, his experience and his yoga. ]] I chose it instead. I read the first chapter dealing with his life in England and to me it all seemed.... Oh, why speak of all these things in connection with Sri Aurobindo? Why? I know quite well that he himself has replied - or rather rectified inexact things people had said about him - but it made such a painful impression on me! Such a painful impression. Something must definitely be done which is free of that whole useless

December 16, 1961 (Mother comes in with a rolled-up paper.) Here's my original manuscript - although it's not very 'original.' It's a message for the first of January. One day ... (I'm translating the last section of The Synthesis of Yoga, 'The Yoga of Self-Perfection' - it plunges you into bottomless gulfs ... ) and one day (I think I've told you this), I had a vision of the gap between ... not even what ought to be, because we probably haven't the slightest idea of that, but between our concept of what we would like to be and what is. And it was so dreadful that the body was thrown into, oh ... an anguish, a horror; and along with it an intensity of aspiration, a prayer. The g