December 1958 (This note was written by Mother in English. It concerns an attack of black magic that threatened her life and in the end completely changed her outer existence. A new stage begins.) Two or three days after I retired to my room upstairs, [[Mother withdrew on December 9. In fact, She had been unwell for already more than a month before withdrawing. On November 26, the last 'Wednesday class' took place at the playground; on November 28 the last 'Friday class', on December 6, the last 'Translation class'; on December i, the end of Mother's tennis and the last visit to the playground. On December 9, She again went down for the meditation around the Samadhi. From D

Early May 1959 (Letter from Mother to Satprem) Thursday, 1 o'clock Satprem, my dear child, I have received your letter with the news. Concerning Z, X himself told me that he had initiated him last evening (but he didn't say more). It seems that the kundalini was awakened and the current was so strong that Z's eyes became all red. ... ... ... ... Did X tell you anything of our meditation this morning? Do not ask him any questions. But if he speaks of it, I would be happy to know what he says. Always with you, in love and light. Signed: Mother Page 297 ISBN 2-902776-33-0

M o t h e r's   A g e n d a   Undated_1958 Undated 1958 (Concerning one of her commentaries on the Dhammapada,  in the chapter 'The Thousand,' Mother remarks:) All this seems quite dogmatic. Each time, only ONE aspect of the question is considered, whereas to be truly accurate, EVERYTHING would have to be said. It should be emphasized that this is only ONE point of view and that there are also all the others. But people ... that swamps them! They don't like it, they are happier when they can cling to something solid. Page 153 Home ISBN 2-902776-33-0

November 27, 1958 (Concerning the disciple's karma and the tantric discipline that he is following to dissolve this karma, Mother wonders why She herself had not been able to dissolve it directly and why it was necessary to resort to intermediaries) I am used to seeing the process or the working of things more from a spiritual point of view, something more universal, whereas this needs to be seen from a detailed, occult point of view. For example, one thing had always appeared unimportant to me in action - intermediaries between the spiritualized individual being, the conscious soul, and the Supreme. According to my personal experience, it had always seemed to me t

April 24, 1959 (Note sent by Mother to Satprem) 24 April 1959 The divine perfection is always there above us; but for man to become divine in consciousness and act and to live inwardly and outwardly the divine life is what is meant by spirituality; all lesser meanings given to the word are inadequate fumblings or impostures.' Page 295 ISBN 2-902776-33-0

Undated 1956 (b) (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Pondicherry Sweet Mother, with all the sincerity of which I am capable, I am putting before you an important problem (important to me) so that you may help me resolve it. I feel that I am coming to a decisive turning point, but something is preventing me from going any further. All my past is weighing down on me, not because of any attachments, for I regret NOTHING of my past and my only hope is what lies before me. Yet I have not entirely undergone all this like a marionette, it even seems to me that 'I' have created it, composed it like a book - for the last fifteen years, from the time of the concentration camps, I have conscio

M o t h e r's   A g e n d a   March_1959 March (?) 1959 (Letter to Mother from Satprem concerning X's inquiry  into who had practiced black magic on her) Pondicherry Sweet Mother, I will be seeing you tomorrow, but I prefer to state things clearly now; if you wish, I can read you my letter when we meet. Here is what X told me: 'The message came this morning during the Puja; my guru spoke in the form of Sanskrit slokas and this is not easy to express in English. Normally, I might have waited rather long for the answer, but because of the greatness of the Mother, it came immediately. The message implicated not 7 people, but 25 to 50, all or almost all Gujaratis.' (Here, X said something I am not

M o t h e r's   A g e n d a   January_1959 January 1959 O mon doux Seigneur,  Toi seul, Tu es grand, Toi seul, Tu vois grand, Toi seul peux me conduire là où je veux aller. (translation) O my sweet Lord,  You alone, You vastly are, You alone, You vastly see, You alone can lead me there where I want to go.   1. Original English. Page 343 Home ISBN 2-902776-33-0

M o t h e r's   A g e n d a   Undated_1958 Undated 1958 When the hostile forces want to attack those around me but do not succeed in making them overtly hostile to Sri Aurobindo's work or in making them turn against me personally, they always use the same tactic, with the same argument: 'You may have all the inner realizations you want,' they say, 'the most beautiful experiences possible inside your four Ashram walls, but as far as the outer world is concerned, your life is wasted, lost. There is an abyss you will never bridge between your inner experience and a concrete realization in the world.' This is the number one argument of the hostile forces. I know it well - for millions of years I have bee

January 28, 1960 All these repetitions of the mantra, these hours of japa I haveto do every day, seem to have increased the difficulties, as if they were raising up or aggravating all the resistances. To the most stubborn goes the victory. When I started my japa one year ago, I had to struggle with every possible difficulty, every contradiction, prejudice and opposition that fills the air. And even when this poor body began walking back and forth for japa, it used to knock against things, it would start breathing all wrong, coughing; it was attacked from all sides until the day I caught the Enemy and said,' Listen carefully. You can do whatever you want, but I'm going