October 28, 1956 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Pondicherry, October 28, 1956 Sweet Mother, my birthday is the day after tomorrow, the 30th. I come to place my inner situation before you so that you may help me take a decision. I am facing the same difficulties as before my departure to Hyderabad, and I have made the same mistakes. The main reason for this state is that, on the one hand, words and ideas seem to have lost all power over me, and on the other, the vital elan which led me thus far is dead. So upon what shall my faith rest? I still have some faith, of course, but it has become totally ABSTRACT. The vital does not cooperate, so I feel all withered, suspended i

April 1954 (A few experiences of the body consciousness') With the same accuracy, one can say that all is divine or that nothing is divine. Everything depends upon the angle from which one looks at the problem. Likewise, it can be said that the divine is a perpetual becoming and yet also, that it is immutable for all eternity. To deny or affirm God's existence is equally true, but each is only partially true. It is by rising above both affirmation and negation that one may draw nearer the truth. It can further be said that whatever happens in the world is the result of divine will, but also that this will has to be expressed and manifested in a world that contradicts or defor

October 8, 1956 (At about 6 a.m., before Mother appeared on the balcony) 'Be always at the height of yourself, in all circumstances.' Then I wondered when and how I am at the height of myself. And this is what I saw: Two things which were parallel and concomitant - that is, they are always together: One - identity with the Origin, which imparts an absolute serenity and perfect detachment to the action. The other - identity with the supreme Grace, which obliterates and abolishes all errors committed in the action by whomsoever and whatsoever - and which annuls all the consequences of these errors. And the moment I perceived this, I saw that my third attitude

July 14, 1959 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Pondicherry, July 14, 1959 Tuesday evening Sweet Mother, This is what I should have told you this morning, but I was afraid. For the last month I have been afraid of you, afraid that you might not understand. But I cannot leave with this weight on Page 324 me. I beg of you to understand, Sweet Mother. I want nothing bad, nothing impure. I feel I have something to create with Sujata, I feel she is absolutely a part of something I have to achieve, that we have something to achieve together. For the five years we have known each other I have never had a single wrong thought - but suddenly she opened my heart, which had been s

October 6, 1958 When I am not in my body, I have all kinds of contacts with people, contacts of different types. And it's not a thing decided in advance, it is not willed, it is not even thought out; it is simply ... observed. Certain relationships are entirely within me, entirely. It is not a relationship between individuals, but a relationship between states of being - which means that with the same individual there may be many different relationships. If it were a single whole ... but I am still not sure if there is a single person with whom the relationship is global. So there are parts which are entirely within me, entirely - there is no difference; they are myself. The

Undated 1959 (On Anatole France and La Révolte des Anges) ... These children don't understand [Sri Aurobindo's irony]. They read it prosaically (gesture indicating the surface). Strangely enough, it's the same phenomenon when they read Anatole France. And Anatole France, read without understanding his irony, is abominably commonplace. They don't grasp the irony. Sri Aurobindo had it. He understood the irony of Anatole France so well, he had this same thing - so subtle, so refined ... 'Very good,' he would say while reading La Révolte des Anges 'Yes, it is true, which of the two should we believe?'# (Mother laughs). 1. A French publishing house that had asked for a book on

March (?) 1959 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Pondicherry Sweet Mother, I recounted my dream of the titan to X and told him that this titan in the plane crash was not, or seemingly not, dead. He immediately replied, 'Yes, tomorrow he will be killed.' It is the last day of his Puja. I told X not to worry about the whole list of names, that you know them already, but that you had been intrigued by this reduced number of 7 people. He told me, 'They are the heads of departments.' ... ... ... .. . X (I forgot to tell you at the beginning of the letter) links the crashing of the titan to the fact that the globe of light has come back into your hands. Page 285 Sweet Mot

M o t h e r's   A g e n d a   January_1959 January 1959 I am not a scholar I am a creative force in action, that is all. Everything depends on the Lord's Will. If such is His will, when I have to know, I know, when I have to fight, I fight, when I have to love, I love, and always there is the need to love, to know and to fight.* Page 343 Home ISBN 2-902776-33-0

January 25, 1958 (Concerning Pakistan) It is quite evident that for some reason or other - or perhaps for no reason at all - the Supreme has changed His mind about it. Page 135 ISBN 2-902776-33-0

M o t h e r's   A g e n d a   Undated_1956 Undated 1956  (d) (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Pondicherry Sweet Mother, for many long months I have been struggling with myself in a painful conflict, and at times I have even felt certain dangers. Finally, I went within myself, into the calm, and it seemed to me that I would do well to go away for a while. I had thought I could free myself from this conflict by writing a book. But in fact, it is not the mind that needs to be freed, or at least not only that, it is the vital that needs to WEAR ITSELF OUT. I believe I have a clear mental perception of the goal to be attained, and I no longer doubt the spiritual meaning of my life, but this kind of men