June 13, 1959 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Rameswaram, June 13, 1959 Sweet Mother, I have received your last two letters of the 10th and 11th. I told X what you wrote about this trip to France and that your finances are in an 'almost desperate' state. He replied with perfect Page 318 assurance, 'Soon it will increase, very soon it will change.' I am obviously hesitant to accept your generous offer and I do not know what I should do. I had never thought of returning to France, except in a distant future. I don't know why X told me that I should return there, except perhaps because he felt who my mother is. I know that she is sad, that she believes me lost to her and

M o t h e r's   A g e n d a   Undated_1956 Undated 1956 (b) (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Pondicherry Sweet Mother, with all the sincerity of which I am capable, I am putting before you an important problem (important to me) so that you may help me resolve it. I feel that I am coming to a decisive turning point, but something is preventing me from going any further. All my past is weighing down on me, not because of any attachments, for I regret NOTHING of my past and my only hope is what lies before me. Yet I have not entirely undergone all this like a marionette, it even seems to me that 'I' have created it, composed it like a book - for the last fifteen years, from the time of the concentration

June 1958 (At the time of publishing the following conversation of March 19, 1958, in the Ashram 'Bulletin,' Mother added certain com mentaries that have a direct bearing upon the preceding con versation about the Last Judgment, and She incorporated an entire passage from the conversation of the end of February 1958 on the same subject.) One thing seems clear: humanity has reached such a generalized state of tension - tension in effort, tension in action, tension even in daily life - with such an excessive hyperactivity, such an overall restlessness, that the species as a whole seems to have reached a point where it must either burst through the resistance and sur

May 1959 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Pondicherry Sweet Mother, He was even more overwhelmed today when he came down from your room than yesterday. It was physically visible. He said nothing, except again that you 'only' could understand. ... ... ... ... Then, suddenly looking at me with his third eye, he spoke of me, and said quite enigmatically, 'I don't know why THESE THOUGHTS come to me every time I think of you ...' (I don't know what thoughts he is referring to) and he added, 'You will come TWO months to Rameswaram - I shall ask Mother - SUCH A THING is going to take place ... When the time comes I shall write to you, and you will stay with me.' These are his exact wo

December 24, 1958 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Rameswaram, December 24, 1958 Sweet Mother, Your last letter was a great comfort to me. If you were not there, with me, everything would be so absurd and impossible. I am again disturbing you because Swami tells me that you are worried and that I should write to you. Not much has changed, except that I am holding on and am confident. Yesterday, I again suffered an agonizing wave, in the temple, and I found just enough strength to repeat your name with each beat of my heart, like someone drowning. I remained as motionless as a pillar of stone before the sanctuary, with only your name (my mantra would not come out), then it cle

June 9, 1959 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Rameswaram, June 9, 1959 Sweet Mother, Forgive me for these last letters. I was suffering. It seems to me that for months I have been far away from you. I no longer see you in my dreams, I no longer feel you. What, then is this path I am following? In spite of all my revolts, I need you, I need truth, Light, and love. I feel I have already known all this, had all this, and that I have been dispossessed. Perhaps that is why I suffer. Mother, lead me towards you, I am blind and without strength. Your child, Signed: Satprem (Mother's reply) Thursday, June 11, 1959 Satprem, my very dear child, I have received you

Undated 1959 (?) Om, Seigneur Suprême, Dieu de Vérité et de Perfection. Seigneur, Dieu de Pureté et de Perfection Dieu de Justice et de Paix Dieu d'Amour et de Félicité ** (translation) Om, Supreme Lord, God of Truth and Perfection. Lord, God of Purity and Perfection God of Justice and Peace God of Love and Felicity Page 342 ISBN 2-902776-33-0

January 22, 1958 It is an error to confuse Joy and Felicity. They are two very different things. Not only are their vibrations different, but their colors are different. The color of Felicity is blue, a clear silvery blue (the blue of the Ashram flag), very luminous and transparent. And it has a passive and fresh quality that refreshes and rejuvenates. Whereas Joy is a golden rose color, a pale gold with a tinge of red, a very pale red. It is active, warm, fortifying, intensifying. The first is sweetness, the second is tenderness. And Bliss - what I spontaneously call Bliss - is the synthesis of both. It is found in the very heights of the supramental consciousness, in a dia

December 31, 1960 (Mother usually improvised on the harmonium the morning of January 1 before reading the New Year's Message. She has come the day before to try out the instrument.) Let's see ... How many months has it been? I haven't touched this instrument for at least eight months! And now tomorrow I Page 501 have to play - don't feel like it. Anyway, since I must, I must! ... We'll meditate on it (the New Year's Message') - you know what it is, for we worked on it together - and then I'll see if something comes. (silence) This throng looks more like a chaos. A dreadful confusion. But from next week people will start leaving. The crowning day will be Jan

April 13, 1960 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Hyderabad, April 13, 1960 Sweet Mother, My friend here gave me the book Templier et Alchimiste [Templar and Alchemist] to read; it's published by the group he is going to join in France. They too speak of the transmutation of matter and proclaim the end of 'homo sapiens' and the birth of the superman. I long to be with you and work on the book on Sri Aurobindo - I want to put all my soul into it and, with your grace, create something inflaming. Sweet Mother, I am your child. I want to belong to you more and more completely. With love. Signed: Satprem (Mother's reply) 4.18.6 0 My dear little one, I receiv