Diary Surgery Day- Sept. 28, 1998-11 12:10 p.m. The doctor enters with a sadness and compassion that must be his nature's path, facing death so often each day. He apologizes that he has to bring me this news and tells me that the colon cancer involves many organs and is terminal. He has removed both ovaries which also were cancerous, disconnected the gall bladder and did by-passes to relieve the blockage. If nothing had been done he estimated my beloved would have lived only three more weeks, with the bypasses she could s

Diary Surgery Day- Sept. 28, 1998-7 11:20 a.m. I have placed your chain and the golden pendant of the symbols of Mother and Sri Aurobindo in my wallet on top of the blessings packet with the photo of Mother's feet which is so special to me. This and your wedding ring I will put on you at the first opportunity. You said that you would have worn all the jewels I had bought for you these years but they would have weighed you down too much in the hospital. However much you treasure them, they were only my falteringand ina

Savitri Diary December 13, 2001 Sleep is a sometime thing, fugitive and erratic. Digestion is poor with bloating and some discomfort of cramping. Blood pressure is on the high side. All points to the necessity of going deeper within, remaining undisturbed by the exigencies of the current situation with Mary Helen's cancer so that I may become a more receptive instrument. The repetition of the Name progresses in the heart and now much of the day and night it is present, reverberating in the being.

Gratitude November - March 2004 How grateful this soul for the privilege of these months in the concentrated force of the Ashram. I walk in humility through the streets, greeted by disciples, uplifted and blessed at each moment. The pruning of the Service Tree, always a darshan for me, has been completed and I feel its joy in the outburst of its green leaves, its healthy branches free of all stubs, all dead branches having been removed, and the first buds preparing for a glorious bloom which I will not see with these eyes but will flower in my heart.

Diary September 28, 1998 Surgery Day 8:35 a.m. My beautiful and eternal bride, Hear my voice as I sing to Thee of a love transcendent. All the eons of our births have brought us to this moment on our beloved earth, to join together in a sacred seeking. This world Sri Aurobindo calls "the spirit's manifest home", we so love and admire. You know that I am with you in the most difficult and challenging times as in the days of gladness and steady progress. But now I sing a deeper song that res

Diary Surgery Day- Sept. 28, 1998-4 10:32 a.m. These words I write are not catharsis, for the peace that descended last night and enveloped us both stilled all care and concern. You said that I had wrapped you in a cocoon of strong and luminous calm, but indeed, beloved, Mother has brought it into both of us. As I drove home I felt the concrete, physical peace in which no sound could be discerned, carry me above the waves of sorrow and grief to our home, its protection inviolable. Peace to thee this night, sleep and rest

Ashram Meditation December 2002 Tonight at the 7:30 meditation the strong fragrance of jasmine and tuberose mixed with the coils of incense rose into the skies of God. All the lights in the courtyard are turned off with the exception of one light over the Samadhi. A pleasant breeze comes from the Bay of Bengal and the moon casts phosphorescent shadows in the 'Service Tree'. There is so much love and devotion here. One is transported into higher realms of consciousness merely by being in the atmosphere. I am greeted here not as a