-029_What Is Important and What Isn^t.htm What Is Important and What Isn’t This is our predicament: Over and over again, we lose sight of what is important and what isn’t. We crave things over which we have no control, and are not satisfied by the things within our control. We need to regularly stop and take stock; to sit down and determine within ourselves which things are worth valuing and which things are not; which risks are worth the cost and which are not. Even the most confusing or hurtful aspects of life can be made more tolerable by clear seeing and by choice.

Forgive Over and Over Again Generally, we’re all doing the best we can. When someone speaks to you curtly, disregards what you say, performs what seems to be a thoughtless gesture or even an outright evil act, thing to yourself, “If I were that person and had endured the same trials, borne the same heartbreaks, had the same parents, and so on, I probably would have done or said the same thing." We are not privy to the stories behind people’s actions, so we should be patient with others and suspend our judgment of them, recognizing the limits of our understanding. This does not mean we condone evil deeds or endorse the idea that

Wisdom Depends on Vigilance Most people don’t realize that both help and harm come from within ourselves. Instead they look to externals, mesmerized by appearances. Wise people, on the other hand, realize that we are the source of everything good or bad for us. They therefore don’t resort to blaming and accusing others. They aren’t driven to convince people they are worthy of special or distinguished. If wise people experience challenges, the look to themselves; if they are commended by others, they quietly smile to themselves, unmoved; if they are slandered, they don’t feel the need to defend their name. But they go a

Create Your Own Merit Never depend on the admiration of others. There is no strength in it. Personal merit cannot be derived from an external source. It is not to be found in your personal associates, nor can it be found in the regard of other people. It is a fact of life that other people, even people who love you, will not necessarily agree with your ideas, understand you, or share your enthusiasms. Grow up! Who cares what other people think about you! Create your own merit. Make the most of what you’ve got, what is actually yours. You can be justifiably happy with yourself and at ease when you’ve harmonized your actions wi

Self Mastery Depends on Self Honesty Know first who you are and what you’re capable of. Just as nothing great is created instantly, the same goes for the perfecting of our talents and aptitudes. We are always learning, always growing. It is right to accept challenges. This is how we progress to the next level of intellectual, physical, or moral development. Still, don’t kid yourself: If you try to be something or someone you are not, you belittle your true self and end up not developing in those areas that you would have excelled at quite naturally. Within the divine order, we each have our own special calling. Listen to

Be a Citizen of the World One cannot pursue one’s own highest good without at the same time necessarily promoting the good of others. A life based on narrow self-interest cannot be esteemed by any honorable measurement. Seeking the very best in ourselves mean actively caring for the welfare of other human beings. Our human contract is not with the few people with whom our affairs are most immediately intertwined, nor to the prominent, rich, or well educated, but to all our human brethren. View yourself as a citizen of a worldwide community and act accordingly.

Know What You Can Control and What You Can’t Happiness and freedom being with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. Within our control are our own opinions, aspirations, desires, and the things that repel us. These areas are quite rightly our concern, because they are directly subject to our influence. We always have a choice about the contents and character of our inner lives. Outside our control, however, are such things as what kind of body we have, whether we’re born into wealth or strike it rich, how we are regarded by others, and our status in society. We must

The Only Prosperous Life Is the Virtuous Life Virtue is our aim and purpose. The virtue that leads to enduring happiness is not a quid pro quo goodness. (I’ll be good “in order to" get something.) Goodness in and of itself is the practice and the reward. Goodness isn’t ostentatious piety or shadowy good manners. It’s a lifelong series of subtle readjustments of our character. We fine-tune our thoughts, words, and deeds in a progressively wholesome direction. The virtue inheres in our intentions and our deeds, not in the results. Why should be bother being good? To be good is to be happy; to be tranquil and worry

Clearly Define the Person You Want to Be Who exactly do you want to be? What kind of person do you want to be? What are your personal ideals? Whom do you admire? What are their special traits that you would make your own? It’s time to stop, being vague. If you wish to be an extraordinary person, if you wish to be wise, then you should explicitly identify the kind of person you aspire to become. If you have daybook, write down who you’re trying to be, so that you can refer to this self-definition. Precisely describe the demeanor you want to adopt so that you may preserve it when you are by yourself or with other people.

The Power of Habit Every habit and faculty is preserved and increased by its corresponding actions: the habit of walking makes us better walkers, regular running makes us better runners. It is the same regarding matters of the soul. Whenever you are angry, you increase your anger; you have increased a habit and added fuel to fire. If you don’t want an angry temper, then don’t feed the habit. Give it nothing to help its increase.