July 7, 1961 (Mother gives Satprem a white zinnia she has named 'Integral Endurance,' then an allamanda or 'Victory,' and finally a flower of 'Supramental Victory.') Here is an Integral Endurance. But ... victory. Victory. And this one is Supramental Victory - that is, victory in ALL details. It grows in huge clusters of many, many flowers. There. And I go on reading.... 'On Himself'? Yes - the explanation of his yoga and of what he wants us to realize. After reading it yesterday evening I said to him, 'How do you expect it to be done in this!'(Mother laughingly indicates her own body.) 'No, no, no!' he replied, 'That's not it! What is needed now is to learn how to last. W

January 22, 1961 (Mother had been unwell the past few days. She speaks here of the causes behind the physical disorder.) Ah! How are you? You're the one who should be asked that! I'm all right. All right? ... I saw it last night ... oof! It was a kind of artificial hurricane created by semi-human beings (that is, they have human forms but they aren't men). They created the storm to cut me off from 'my home.' But everything and everyone was disrupted - it must have been going on for a rather long time. Finally last night it became quite amusing: I kept attempting to get to 'my home' which was up above, but each time I tried to find a way everything was blocked by ...

April 25, 1961 (Mother comes in with a book by Alice Bailey, 'Discipleship in the New Age,' which had recently been sent to her. Pavitra is present and shows Mother a brochure he has received, 'World Goodwill Bulletin,' and protests against this proliferation of movements all claiming to work towards 'world union,' and proselytes making so-called 'spiritual' propaganda without having found, within and by themselves, the true spiritual foundation. Mother goes on.) But these people just can't get out of their education! Here is a lady [A. Bailey], quite renowned, it seems (she's dead now), who became the disciple of a Tibetan lama ... and she still speaks of Christ as the sole Avatar

October October 2, 1961 1 was holding one of these flowers [Integral Generosity [[Impatiens balsamina. ]] ] in my hand when I saw Z, and I explained to him what I meant by 'integral generosity.' The effect of the ego, I told him, is to shrivel the being. It's the cause of aging, it dries you up - the being shrivels under it like a withering flower. And as I was speaking to him, the experience came; all I remember now is the idea, but the idea is nothing - the experience itself was there. I know that at a certain moment I was making the distinction between the two states, between the person - the individual, personal being - turning towards the Lord, imploring Him to reveal His Will

January 31, 1961 (Concerning the experience related on January 24, of the supramental Force reorganizing the activity of each center of consciousness. The experience ended in a deep trance: 'I slipped into trance...') I neglected to mention something very important. At the moment of my coming out of the trance, I had a very concrete, positive perception (not a mental understanding, it didn't come from the being's intellectual part, the part that understands and explains everything and Is symbolized, I think, by Indra; it wasn't in any way conveyed through that higher intelligence, it wasn't mental). A kind of perception (not really a sensation, it was more than a sensation) of the

M o t h e r's   A g e n d a   September 10, 1961 September 10, 1961 (Concerning the tantric guru:) Has A. spoken to you about this? ... X told him that you were the bridge between him and me (he even spoke in English): 'Oh, Satprem was the bridge.' (Mother smiles) And a second later he added, 'But now we don't need it anymore!' (Mother laughs merrily) I was much amused! * (A little later, regarding the book on Sri Aurobindo:) Anything one can write is so flat, so flat in comparison with what one perceives! Yes, in comparison with Sri Aurobindo's contact (the vibration that comes from him, if you like), it always seems meager, always flat. Even the most ... you know, spiritual experiences th

January 17, 1961 51 - When I hear of a righteous wrath, I wonder at man's capacity for self-deception. What do you have to say? Our self-deception is always in good faith! We always act for the welfare of others or in the interests of humanity and to serve you (that goes without saying!). How exactly do we deceive ourselves? I would like to ask you a question in turn - because there are two ways of understanding your question. It can be taken in the same ironic or humorous tone that Sri Aurobindo has used in his aphorism when he wonders at man's capacity for self-deception. That is, you are putting yourself in the place of the self-deceiver and saying, 'But I am of good f

December 1, 1965 (Note from Mother to Satprem) Satprem, In the "Notes on the Way," there is a lot of pruning to be done. [[Mother is referring to the conversation of November 27 which Satprem wished to publish at least in part in the Ashram's Bulletin. ]] The passage concerning sanctioned marriages must be cut, and so must the entire reference to the Ashram's composition. All that is too "private" to be published. And along that line you may find here and there other sentences that are better omitted. I would like us to go over that again carefully next Saturday. Tenderness Signed: Mother Page 317

April 10, 1965 I have been asked a question (Mother looks for a note): How can I love the Lord? I have never seen Him and never He speaks to me. This is my answer: It is not what one sees or hears that one loves, it is love that one loves through the forms and sounds, and of all love the most perfect love, the most loving love is the Lord's love. When I wrote it, it was an extraordinarily intense experience: one cannot love anything but love, and it is love that one loves behind all things - it is love that one loves. It is Love that loves itself everywhere. Page 70 And form and sound are excuses. (silence) Do you find it hard to understand? !? No,

April 23, 1965 Every night now, almost without exception, I spend a part of the night in someone else, who seems to be me - it's "me," but the circumstances are completely different, the relationships are completely different. And last night, I don't know how (oh, it was a long story), I saw myself: I was wearing a sari and my hair was loose, and it was white! It was white with some black streaks that had remained black; and suddenly I saw my face in a mirror, and that's how I knew it was someone else. And it seems to be quite a daily occupation, a very regular occupation, with people totally different from one another, totally different, but all of them in contact with Sri Aurobindo'