September 26, 1964 I'd rather not talk, because ... It is a terribly dark labor and without clearly visible effects. There are people who proclaim they perform miracles with my name or my force - bringing dying people back to life, wonderful things, anyway. To me, it immediately smacks of the ego a mile off; and the ego means vital entities taking advantage of it. I don't like that. It's a labor of every minute, without a break, night and day. Last night again ... I went through strange places with people I know very well and whom I am seeing in that way for the first time. As if I went into all sorts of places I'd never been to before, in which fantastic things occur: in wh

October 14, 1964 You seem to have quite a cold! Yes! (Mother laughs) It's odd, I have been with people who had all sorts of things, including fever, and I didn't catch anything;, and the other day, Z came.... They have again made a mess at the School, they are seized with such terrible whims of independence! Do you know the story? ... They put together a big display board on "sleep" for the children's education (that's their affair), but then they put at the bottom, without asking for my permission, a quotation of mine, which I am supposed to have written in 1952 and in which I Page 232 am supposed to have said that children should be in bed by 9. Now, they show films

Undated, 1964 (Note from Mother to Satprem) The old dreams of the past will turn into meaningful realities. Page 15

November November 4, 1964 (Mother points to a pile of papers on her table:) You see, it's all like that, it's a snowball. All my life it's been like that with everything I touch, everything I do: it snowballs. So when it comes to material things, you're absolutely deluged! And now my time is spent like that. Every day, ten, twenty people ask to see me - it's impossible. And yet, as far as I can, I do it.... Those birthday cards ... here alone there are 1,200 or 1,300 (in a year, that makes quite a few every day), but that's nothing, there are all the people from outside, entire families! So every day I write twenty, twenty-five cards.... But one can't say anything, it's good. It'

June 27, 1964 (From Satprem to Sujata) Chatou-Chambery ... I don't feel tired - what tires me is rather human beings with their constant agitation and troubled atmosphere. Anyway, I am happy to be with my brother. The difficulty is that I no longer know how to speak, I have lost the habit of conversation, and people talk and talk, ask questions without giving you time to answer, and in that whirl it is quite hard to pull down true words. In fact, my only rest is when I am alone doing my japa; then everything seems to open, to relax, and I feel I am back home. Otherwise I am like a cork tossed about on the sea and turned in all directions. People don't live - they bustle about. It is

October 30, 1964 I feel we are turning a corner. It's very narrow. Do you know mountain roads?... All of a sudden, you come to a corner, a sharp turn, and you can't see the other side - below is a precipice, behind is the rock - and the path ... it would seem to have grown narrower in order to turn the corner, it's become quite narrow. I've encountered that in the mountains - often. And now, I feel we are turning the corner; but we are beginning to turn it, in the sense that we are beginning to see the other side, and the consciousness (always the body consciousness) is on the verge of a bedazzlement, like the first glimpses of something marvelous - not positively unexpected because

August 14, 1962 (Satprem did not keep any record of his questions at the beginning of the following conversation, nor does he exactly remember the circumstances that led to it. It seems that he wanted to write a letter to X, his former Tantric guru, or meet him, to explain what had happened and, in fact, to tell X that he still held him in deepest affection, despite external circumstances and Satprem's outward break with him.) ... One must never go back; one must always go forward. The curves of life go this way and that (meandering gesture), and only by being the supramental arrow can you go beyond. What happened [with X] was necessary. But there's a step that goes beyond holding

May 24, 1962 73 - When Wisdom comes, her first lesson is, "There is no such thing as knowledge; there are only aperçus of the Infinite Deity." Very good. No need for questions. 74 - Practical knowledge is a different thing; that is real and serviceable, but it is never complete. Therefore to systematise and codify it is necessary but fatal. It is real within its own realm - only within its own realm. I have looked at this very, very often. There was even a time when I thought that if one could get a total, complete and perfect knowledge of the whole working of physical Nature as we perceive it in the world of Ignorance, then this might be a means to rediscover or reattain th

December 25, 1962 What have you brought? Your book? Do you have your book? A bit of it, yes. All right, begin with that. It's getting to be heavy going, you know.... Oh! I'm under a lot of pressure ... I'm thinking of the "Bulletin," of everything that remains to be done. No. But I have to! Just let it come naturally, like that. Don't think ahead. Just put a piece of paper in front of you and let it come. Page 467 Otherwise you give yourself a headache. All right, I am listening; read what you've brought. It's not perfect yet. No problem. I am perfecting it - all I have to do is hear it. !? You don't believe it, do you? But I can

December 19, 1962 (A few days earlier, Mother inaugurated the new music room built on the terrace near her room. Without informing her, the disciples had also built a balcony, in the hope that Mother would start giving "morning darshans" again, as she used to in the past.) How are you feeling? Better or not? Inwardly, yes, I'm all right. Because the series continues; I mean everything everywhere seems to want to disintegrate: everything everywhere. But the Power is beginning to have an effect (that's putting it poorly, it's not exactly that ...). It's as though I were presented with every possible opportunity to use the Power and they're not coming one Page 457 after t