May 22, 1968 Mother holds out the text of a note: "Through the widening of its consciousness, this body is more or less identified with those around it. "Every effort made towards the purification of one's physical consciousness is so much less work for this body." If everyone made an effort... (Mother nods her head) * * * I saw P.L. yesterday. He is still terribly nervous. He said he was much better, but the least thing makes his face tense up. And there's still around him ... So he must stay on to let all that be undone, cleared out, destroyed. It's interesting, interesting things are taking place. P.L. had an interesting dream. He noted it down so I coul

May 8, 1968 Did you see P.L.? How did you find him? He's nervously quite shaken, quite exhausted. Don't you think they did some magic on him? That's quite my impression. Ah, you too.... As for me, I very much feel they did magic so he wouldn't be able to speak to the Pope. For the moment, he's very exhausted. Page 127 Yes, they've drained him. It started with a mental attack - every possible doubt: Sri Aurobindo is "like Saint Augustine"; Mother is "like Virgin Mary," it's "the same thing." A mental attack, anyway. After that, he became unable to eat: every time he ate, he would vomit. Then he had fits of hysteria: convulsions, foaming at the mouth

November 9, 1968 (Bharatidi's death marked a sort of turning point in Mother's life, or the beginning of an unfortunate series: Amrita, Mother's faithful treasurer, was going to leave a few months later, in January 1969, followed by Pavitra in May 1969; then Mother's personal attendant, Vasudha, would fall gravely ill in August 1970, and finally Mother's cashier, Satyakarma, would leave in December 1970. Thus the few reliable disciples around Mother were going away - why this migration?... The atmos phere was going to change greatly: "I am surrounded by False hood.... They are all lying!... A general dishonesty," she was soon to say.) She's gone, Bharatidi.

May 4, 1968 (Mother gives a flower called "Divine Purity": Isotoma longiflora.) Do you know this? Page 122 Sri Aurobindo's definition of purity is being exclusively under the influence of the Divine. So naturally, the Divine is exclusively under his own influence (!), and that's purity! Any news regarding P.L.? He is expected today. A "new fact," he said, what can it be?... As for me, I had a strong, very strong impression that they wanted to get rid of him, in the sense that either it was the Pope who didn't want to hear him, or, more likely, it was his friend, Monsignor R., who didn't want the Pope to hear what he had to say. It's a very strong impression. I m

March 20, 1968 There's a problem. It's about P.L. - do you know who he is?[[A visitor who has been staying in the Ashram for some time. ]] No. He is one of the dignitaries of the Roman Curia. I don't understand! He is a Catholic? He's going to be appointed bishop in [such and such a country]. ...!!! So there's a problem. He is an important person, and he wantsto leave everything - this whole Christianity he rejects, he no longer wants it. He wants to leave his Church, his episcopate, everything, and remain here. He has "found" something here. Page 85 Yes, I saw that man: he was very much attached. Yes, and he wants to leave everything. But it's

November 6, 1968 (Regarding a visit paid by Satprem to Bharatidi, an old French disciple, at the Vellore hospital where she is to be operated on. Bharatidi, a member of France's Far East College, is well known for her sparkling wit and liveliness and her biting irony.) So did you go and see Bharatidi? Yes, Mother. She is fine, this Bharatidi, what force she has! And what sense of humor - she is really a queen. Yes. There's a great nobleness in that woman. Oh, yes. Did you give her my note? Yes, tears came to her eyes. They're going to operate on her tomorrow. Tomorrow morning. But I wondered if it was really indispensable. They don't even kno

May 29, 1968 (Mother looks for a vase for an amaryllis, intending to put it together with roses.) Roses don't like that at all! They don't want it. They don't want to have someone else with them.... But I'll put it with them just the same! (Mother, laughing, sticks the amaryllis in the middle of the roses) They have a spirit of caste! * * * Soon afterwards There's a letter from T.F. complaining about the films shown [at Page 148 the Ashram] and saying that films should be instructive and show admirable things.... But for a film to show admirable things, people should live those admirable things, no?! She even wrote to me that they were a whole group of te

April 24, 1968 (Message given by Mother) "In the spiritual order of things, the higher we project our view and our aspiration, the greater the Truth that seeks to descend upon us, because it is already there within us and calls for its release from the covering that conceals it in manifested Nature." Sri Aurobindo Page 113

December 25, 1968 I met X. [[A Tantric whom Satprem followed in the past. ]] Oh! Yes, by chance. I didn't intend to see him, then I forgot he washere and walked by his street. And he was on his doorstep. I didn't turn back, I went and saw him. What did he tell you? Kind ... But I had the feeling that what had been there in thepast was no longer there.... I always had the impression of a blue light around him (that was my impression in the past), but Page 353 I didn't have that sensation of power or force.... Maybe it was something you had put there? I did wonder.... Because the impression I had of him THROUGH YOU was far better than he is, far sup

February 14, 1968 (Regarding certain disciples, who are the very ones that will head the Ashram in the years after Mother's departure.) ... But it's very, very instructive. I mean, it's not anything new to me, but it's the wholly clear, precise, evident picture that it's man who creates all his difficulties. Things would be simple and easy if there weren't all these ego reactions: reactions of ambition, reactions of self-esteem - not to speak of deceit: when that comes ... (gesture underhand). Yes, these three things: ambition, with the need to show off, to dominate; self-esteem or vanity (being hurt when you aren't appreciated at your true value: then you lose your temper, you qua