Below are extracts from letters written to a Dutch friend with whom Janina lived first in Palestine and later in Germany. The letters describe her impressions of the Mother and about her life experience in the Ashram. 20.1.58 It is like being flooded. She pours and pours in and spreads Herself to all the corners, holes and caves of the being. And it is a continuous fever of self-giving and a continuous imploring and calling Her to come. The self-giving seems to be so insufficient and so poor when it faces the Grace. And when She comes, She becomes so near that I at last begin to feel free with Her, to talk to and adore Her in Her manifested bo

-20_letter_6.2.1958 .htm Below are extracts from letters written to a Dutch friend with whom Janina lived first in Palestine and later in Germany. The letters describe her impressions of the Mother and about her life experience in the Ashram. 6.2.1958 I understand and feel what Sri Aurobindo said about not being concerned with one's own perfection. I simply forget all about it. I just have a kind of fever to be able to serve Her and nothing else. There is no place for anything else. Only to do Her will. Do you know what happened yesterday? Mother sent me a sadhika whose husband was very ill, he almost died, but Mother kept him alive. Now he is out of the hospit

-21_letter_24.2.1958 .htm Below are extracts from letters written to a Dutch friend with whom Janina lived first in Palestine and later in Germany. The letters describe her impressions of the Mother and about her life experience in the Ashram. 24.2.1958 It is now necessary that I drop my mental as completely as possible. So She wants it. But it is not easy and for a time I shall stop formulating what is going on with me. This will help me. I want just to live in self-giving only, just to close my eyes and plunge myself into Her. There are such wonderful articles in all three monthlies and quarterlies, Advent, Bulletin and Mother India, that I am sending you th

-23_letter_2.4.1958 .htm Below are extracts from letters written to a Dutch friend with whom Janina lived first in Palestine and later in Germany. The letters describe her impressions of the Mother and about her life experience in the Ashram. 2.4.1958 Oh, this can only be compared to changing the element in which one lives, from water, for example, to air. Everything is new. And the essence of my life changes. Because now there seems to be really nothing more than sacrificing continuously. This will be the main occupation, probably the only one. I do not know. She often gives me new realisations. This one withdraws and comes back and so it goes. But I am born a

-26_letter_13.4.1958 .htm Below are extracts from letters written to a Dutch friend with whom Janina lived first in Palestine and later in Germany. The letters describe her impressions of the Mother and about her life experience in the Ashram. 13.4.1958 I feel that I should not resist - in a way - any wave. I mean, when Mother sweeps this house I must keep myself transparent and accept all the dirt and dust - accept but not hold it, even for a moment - only immediately pass it on, which means to Her. Almost automatically and with great speed. It is like physical exercises or a game. If I do not do it quickly enough, She cannot go on "throwing" it at me, like ba

-16_letter_30.12.1957 .htm Below are extracts from letters written to a Dutch friend with whom Janina lived first in Palestine and later in Germany. The letters describe her impressions of the Mother and about her life experience in the Ashram. 30.12.1957 During Darshan this morning She showed me what is a kind of knack in the process of surrender. I have nothing to give, ever. But every time my act of self- giving is sufficiently strong She gives and acts in me and through me. It is like a rhythm: a movement in me to Her - a movement of Her in me. And the moment I think of giving or want to give, the contact is lost. It is a real school exercise - a school of Di

Three Prayers while waiting for Thee, Mother 1 While I was waiting for Tee, O Light, To appear on the balcony, I prayed: Before the Lord descends in the firsr ray of Thy gaze, O Mother, chase away the clouds that cover my soul As Thou art lifting at dawn the mist-veil From the immaculate face of that deep Black Lake In my Tatry Mountains (the highest mountain range in Poland) And then, when the Lord will come, The luminous beam will pierce my bare being Unto its very depths and fill it with bliss. And the Lord will be pleased, And He will look around Him on His happy property At the bottom of my soul. **

-32_letter_20.6.1958 .htm Below are extracts from letters written to a Dutch friend with whom Janina lived first in Palestine and later in Germany. The letters describe her impressions of the Mother and about her life experience in the Ashram. 20.6.1958 Today I have a meat holiday. Tripura's husband has his birthday and he did not want any meat. So I gave more time to the "garden". It is so funny - a garden in flower-pots. Everything grows so quickly - you cannot imagine - but there are also more different pests to be fought than in Europe. I do my work and practise being only a witness. It will be so: I shall sit in a corner of Her Heart and adore Her. She will d

-28_letter_17.4.1958 .htm Below are extracts from letters written to a Dutch friend with whom Janina lived first in Palestine and later in Germany. The letters describe her impressions of the Mother and about her life experience in the Ashram. 17.4.1958 Yes, She will do it. This morning during Darshan I got the assurance. I shall learn to love Her in everybody and everything and then equality will come by itself. When I think that all I am going through now is only the first, tiny little beginning of spiritual life, I realise how deep the ego hypnosis is. For seventeen years I have known - and felt too - the existence of the Truth and yet the crust is still so hard.

STIPPLING Janina often used the technique of stippling: hundredsandhundreds of dots, into each of which went allherconcentration; each dot contained the Divine Name. HOME