August 11, 1964 (About the Tantric guru announcing his coming visit:) ... He has sent me his usual message: it's a sort of picture with all the colors. You know that Tantrism attributes a value to each color; they make a sort of play of forces with all those colors, depending on what they want to say or express - they're lights, very brightly colored lights. It's very particular; the first time I saw that, it was connected with Tantrism. And the other day there came to me ... (in a slightly ironical tone) a very beautiful picture, this big (gesture: about six inches by twelve). So I knew it was coming from him and that he was happy! * * * Soon afterwards There was an experie

March 11, 1964 I'll read you something. It concerns an American who came here full of all the American ideas, who did a survey of everything (the way the services are organized and so on), and who sent me his report in which he says that everything lacks organization, a mental structure.... I didn't intend to answer him, but the day before yesterday, just when I was going to retire for the night, Sri Aurobindo told me insistently - he came and told me, "Here is what you must say to T." And he insisted until I had written it down - I was forced to write it! Sri Aurobindo has told us (it's he himself who said it) and we are convinced by experience that above the mind there is a consc

July 15, 1964 (Mother reads an answer she wrote in English to a disciple, in which she says in particular:) ... to be grateful, never to forget this wonderful Grace of the Supreme who leads each one to his divine goal by the shortest ways, in spite of himself, his ignorance and misunderstanding, in spite of the ego, its protests and its revolts. June 26, 1964 Page 125 What's written here is such a true experience! Never to forget this wonderful Grace of the Supreme who leads you straight to your true goal, in spite of all your revolt, all your misunderstanding - straight, imperturbably. You cry out, you weep, you protest, you revolt.... "I will lead you right to the end

August 26, 1964 (By some quirk of the tape recorder (?) the following conversation, which is so important, was almost inaudible, as if veiled, and Satprem was unable to save the recording, though he was able to save his notes. It should be said that his tape recorder was quite patched up - Mother never wanted him to borrow the Ashram's machines, except for "official recordings.") I wanted to point out to you an article in the "Reader's Digest" on the structure of the cell according to the latest scientific discoveries. [[Reader's Digest, August 1964: "Inner Space of Living Cells," by Rutherford Platt. ]] I thought it might throw light on certain aspects of your experiences. They spea

May 28, 1964 (From Satprem to Sujata) St-Pierre This month of May is interminable, in-ter-mi-na-ble, it is surely elastic. If June is as long, I'll tear the calendar to pieces. But I haven't yet spoken to my mother about returning sooner than planned; I would like to know if Mother approves, it would give me more inner strength to convince my mother. In the meantime, I count the hours (they are also elastic, expandable and sticky; my watch was so weary of those rubber hours that it broke down for good). Is time shorter in India? It seems to have shortened Nehru's life, at any rate - there must be great confusion over there; now all the mud will be free to spread out into the open?...

March 14, 1964 (About a trip to France which Satprem has to make soon.) ... You'll be able to see your friend B. if you go there. I've lost the habit of contact with others; it's very rarely that I don't get tired as soon as I meet someone. Oh, but it's more than tired, it's dazed! And I'm not used to social life anymore, so I have nothing to say anymore, I'm not there. I know what you mean! It's difficult. No, that's good, very good, it SHOULD be that way. There is only one solution in such cases, the one I have established: the "bath of the Lord." You make contact within yourself, and you let That flow through you onto others - and then let what happens happen,

December 23, 1964 (From Mother to Satprem) Satprem, mon cher petit, Here is your book, just arrived from America. I am sending it to you with all my love so that it may be the sign of the arrival of perfect balance and total health. Blessings Signed: Mother Page 312

November 12, 1964 Is there anything new? It's you who had something to find. You said you would look for the cause of those sorts of faintings. There is something interesting (not the faintings!). You know that Z has started a yoga in the body (I didn't ask her to do anything, she did it spontaneously); she wrote to me her first experiences, and there were observations quite similar to those I had made and with an accuracy that interested me - I have encouraged her. She is going on. I don't have the time to read her letters: they're piling up there. But what I found very interesting is that yesterday I was read a letter from an English writer (a lady): she has a little group the

March 31, 1964 A remark in passing It is expected that people (here in the Ashram) would have made some progress!... And would not need the physical presence [of Mother] to feel the Help and the Force. * * * Regarding older Agenda conversations ... I forget completely. I seem to go by so fast, so fast, so fast, that it's impossible to remember - it would pull me backwards. Page 104 April-June

November 28, 1964 I am continuing to relive forgotten aspects of this life, rejected from the nature, that come back in the form of relived memories, as though someone were, you know, trying to "pick holes" (!) in all the possible movements that have occurred in this body, not only to sweep things clean, but also to purify, correct, and illuminate - all the body's memories (I'm not speaking of the mind or the vital) ... extraordinary! And at the same time the understanding comes of all the people I met in my life and with whom I lived for a certain time: for what reasons, with what aim, for what purpose they were there and what action they had and how they did the Lord's work (unkn