March 7, 1964 I told you last time that when I returned from the balcony on the 29th, it was as if in my concentration I said to the Lord, "Well, we'll wait another four years." That was the impression. And since then (today is the same day as the 29th, it was just a week ago), everything has been like this (quivering gesture in the atmosphere), like hosts of little promises - but promises that haven't come to fruition, in other words, it's always something that IS to come, something that IS to be, something that IS to be realized; something that's drawing near, but nothing tangible. And last night, when I awoke from my usual concentration (it's almost always at the same time: between mid

October 28, 1964 The nights are continuing to be extraordinary! Last night, it was fantastic, but ... I send it back, because it keeps me too busy; one part of the consciousness is busy with it, that's troublesome - I send it all back. Page 255 It's as if a fantastic amount of things were made known to me: people whom I don't know physically, things that I don't know physically. And with the clear vision of the true Consciousness behind it all: the workings of the Consciousness. It's interesting, but anyway ... It would be wonderful for a writer, he would have books and books to write! I even hear sentences; when things are written, I see them written - it's even more precise

January 4, 1964 (Regarding the Tantric guru's visit) There has been an interesting phenomenon. I had X told about a rather interesting encounter of mine with Ganapati [[Ganapati, or Ganesh: the son of the supreme Mother, god of material knowledge and wealth. He is represented with an elephant's head. ]] (quite a few years ago), and how he had promised to give me whatever I needed and actually gave it for quite a long time, certainly more than ten years, and generously so. Then everything changed in the Ashram. It was after the war, the children came and we spilled over; we became much more complex, much larger, and began to be in touch with foreign countries, particularly America.

February February 5, 1964 Something strange has happened - very, very strange, it's the first time such a thing has happened to me. G. brought back from Paris a book, an album - an album of photographs. On one side of the book there is a photograph, and on the other a facsimile of the handwriting probably of well-known authors, poets, writers, and so on - I didn't read that. A facsimile and a photograph. They call it Dream Paris!... (Mother raises her eyes heavenwards) The photos attempt to be very artistic. They are taken from quite unusual angles and some are very fine. On the whole, a little vulgar: too many people kissing, socks hanging in the sun - they confuse the artist

November 7, 1964 Mother looks very pale. For the past three days there has been a constant phenomenon: something ... I don't know what it is ... as if the whole head were being emptied (Mother shows the blood going downward). Physically, that's what you feel before fainting, as if all the blood were leaving the head: the head empties, and then you faint. The first time it came was the day before yesterday; I was resting (after lunch I rest for half an hour), and at the end of my rest, suddenly I see myself - I see myself standing near my bed, very tall, with a magnificent dress, and with someone dressed in white beside me. And I saw this just when I seemed about to faint:

November 25, 1964 (The following conversation is about the collective meditation of the day before, November 24, a darshan day.) So, what about you? What's new? Nothing new? - and what's old?! (laughter) (silence) Yesterday, during the meditation, I don't know what happened, but when they rang the gong for the end, I absolutely had the feeling it had just started! As soon as the meditation started, something descended: a stillness, but a very comfortable stillness, extraordinarily comfortable, and then ... finished, nothing, blank - completely blank. I was like that all the time at the table, [[Mother remains seated in front of her table during the meditations. ]] when sud

February 26, 1964 Mother's left eye is very bloodshot Does your eye hurt? My eye? It doesn't hurt?? I don't know.... Is there something? Yes. Oh! I didn't see.... It hurt this morning, and then ... Strange, no one told me anything. All right, that's all I needed! I won't be able to do anything at all. It hurt, but I didn't give it thought. Is it very red? Not as much as sometimes.... But here, when you look down, it's very red. When you lower your eyelid, there is an entire bloodshot area, up to the iris. So it has started again.... All right. It's such an avalanche, you know.... If one could do the work quietly, without having to rush ... it wouldn

September 16, 1964 103 - Vivekananda, exalting Sannyasa, [[Sannyasa: renunciation of works and worldly life. ]] has said that in all Indian history there is only one Janaka.[[King of Mithila at the time of the Upanishads, famed for his spiritual knowledge and divine realization, even though he led a worldly life. ]] Not so, for Janaka is not the name of a single individual, but a dynasty of self-ruling kings and the triumph-cry of an ideal. Page 189 104 - In all the lakhs of ochre-clad Sannyasins, [[Sannyasin: a wandering monk who has renounced works and worldly life. ]] how many are perfect? It is the few attainments and the many approximations that justify an ideal. 105

January 25, 1964 In the Illustrated Weekly they have published photographs of the Pope's visit to Palestine, and there is one in which he is prostrating himself: he is kissing the ground on the Mount of Olives, where Christ, as the story goes, was informed that he would be crucified. Page 36 It put me again in contact with that man. And his intention is clear: to make religion quite real, in the sense that it isn't a myth, it isn't a legend - it's truly God who came, and so on. So, to him, this is "human greatness" prostrating itself before the "divine sacrifice." There is another photograph in which he is embracing the Patriarch of the Orthodox Church - heretics formerl

April 24, 1964 The same experience came back to me later; it isn't another "version" or another way of saying it, it's the experience that suddenly came back so acutely, so intensely (Mother reads her note): "Human beings are so powerless, so imperfect, so incomplete! The "incomplete" was the strongest of the three - so incomplete! "Only the all-powerful rule of Truth and Love upon earth can make life tolerable." It's like a continuation - but it didn't come as a continuation: it's the experience that came back. As if something in the consciousness of THE EARTH felt an urgent and irrevocable need for this change - for the change, for the new creation. As if the consciousness