January 27, 1961 (On the moralistic reactions of someone who thought that certain acts 'angered' God:) They are only too eager to believe that God can get angry with them! I try to dispel this notion as much as I can, because it's not true - it isn't true. (long silence) Page 46 This time, something has really been achieved. Since the last experience [January 24] I see it daily. The following day, probably for reasons connected with the body's development and adaptation, I was rather seriously ill - what is usually called 'painfully ill': the body was suffering a lot, or WOULD HAVE suffered a lot had it been in its former normal consciousness. That's where I saw the

March 25, 1961 (On the previous day, Satprem had written a letter to Mother complaining of never having any concrete experiences. [[This letter has disappeared. ]] After a meditation together, this is what Mother replied.) It's not that you don't have experiences! You even have access to regions where people very rarely go; you are capable of receiving light, intuitions, revelations - but this is probably so normal for you that you don't notice it! I came to meditate with you especially to see what was preventing you from being conscious.... And on your right side, I saw a sort of crystallization ... somewhat as though you were inside a statue. It seemed made of transparent ala

January 10, 1961 I have a stack of unread letters this high and an even bigger stack I've read but haven't answered. How can I work on the Aphorisms when I am constantly hounded by people 'pulling' on me simply because they have written! If I don't answer immediately, they say (not in words, but ... ): 'So you're not answering my letter!' These are not very favorable conditions! Everything is in an awful confusion. (silence) What is the next aphorism? 49 - To feel and love the God of beauty and good in the ugly and the evil, and still yearn in utter love to heal it of its ugliness and its evil, this is real virtue and morality. [[Sri Aurobindo's aphorisms appear in the Cent.

September 23, 1961 I have the right to 150 pages! The publisher is giving me 150 pages in his collection.... Terrible.... But in this 'Sri Aurobindo,' you understand, I would like to make his whole poetic aspect stand out, that poetry which is like the Veda, like a revelation, so a bit of space is required: it can't be squeezed into a few lines, or reduced to a skeleton. This analogy between the ancient form of spiritual revelations and Savitri, this blossoming into poetry of his prophetic revelation is ... what could be called the most exceptional part of his work. And what is remarkable (I saw him do it) is that he changed Savitri: he went along changing it as his experience c

January 29, 1961 My legs are tired.... (Mother looks at T's questions on Sri Aurobindo's Aphorisms.) 53 - The quarrels of religious sects are like the disputing of pots, which shall be alone allowed to hold the immortalizing nectar. Let them dispute, but the thing for us is to get at the nectar in whatever pot and attain immortality. What is this nectar of immortality? This consciousness of immortality ... is OUR becoming conscious of the realms where immortality exists; but to bring immortality into the physical consciousness requires not only a transformation of physical consciousness but a transformation of physical substance as well. So.... * (Concerning the

November November 5, 1961 (Mother would prefer Satprem not to mention Paul Richard by name in his book on Sri Aurobindo.) I have done my best, all these years, to try to keep him at a distance. He has a power - a terrible asuric power. Between you and me, I saw him like that from the start - that's why I became involved with him. I never intended to marry him (his family affairs made it necessary), but when we met, I recognized him as an incarnation of the 'Lord of Falsehood' - that is his 'origin' (what he called the 'Lord of Nations'); and in fact, this being has directed the whole course of world events during the last few centuries. As for Theon, he was.... It was not by ch

October 15, 1961 (During the two preceding meetings, Satprem read to Mother several fragments of his manuscript on Sri Aurobindo.) You have brought me a very strange experience. The first time you read your manuscript, I called Sri Aurobindo to hear it. He was in the subtle physical and he listened. Yesterday when I sat down to listen, I thought, 'It would be much better if he entered my brain because that way In fact, I called him; he Page 346 entered my brain. It took some time; all through the beginning of the reading we were still two; then he came in more and more, more and more, more and more.... My head - my physical head - seemed to be swelling up! There was no long

December 23, 1961 (Concerning the Sri Aurobindo manuscript, Mother advises against replying to the publisher too hastily, because she sees a possibility that could change the situation.) There is something deeper. And within this deeper thing there was: quiet, quiet, quiet, we will wait; and the impression (but vague, distant and uncertain) of some attempt being made to introduce a very good possibility into the atmosphere. I never see on the purely physical plane, you know (it's always on the subtle physical, the plane of possibilities - that's more real to me; the purely physical generally eludes me, but I see the subtle physical clearly), and I was seeing ... I don't know, it was

April 22, 1961 1 never manage to finish my morning's program. Things just keep piling up.... (Soon afterwards, concerning X, who had stated that the most recent attacks against Mother, and even those of two years earlier when she had been forced to withdraw to her room, were the result of black magic, and that certain members of the Ashram were DIRECTLY responsible for them, or in any case, had served as intermediaries - as a 'switchboard,' to quote him - in connection with an outside magician.) Page 179 I have been racking my brains, but really, I can't hit on who, IN THE ASHRAM, could be doing magic against me! Having bad thoughts is very widespread, but that doesn't matt

September 28, 1961 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Sweet Mother, I feel completely abandoned to myself. This book is a real SUFFERING. I don't see where I am going, I am groping in all directions. Mother, do help me. Where lies the fault? I am suffering, you know. I would like to do it well, but it comes only in fits and starts, nothing coherent. Sometimes I feel quite incapable of carrying out this task properly. What should I do? Your child, Signed: Satprem Page 334 (Mother's reply) Thursday Satprem, my dear child, If you agree, here is what we could do: read aloud to me what you have written; perhaps seeing it in my consciousness will help you. If