April 7, 1960 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Hyderabad, April 7, 1960 Sweet Mother, A few lines to tell you that I miss you. I truly realize more and more that I shall never be happy until I have disappeared in you entirely. There must be nothing left but That. I understand well enough, but I'm so blocked, so thick. In any case, I 'think' of you a lot and I really only live by this something that pulls me deep within. If that were not there, it would all be so absurd. I've booked my ticket to Rameswaram for the evening of the 13th, so I will probably reach there on the 15th. I brought some work with me (revision of The Human Cycle), and that helps me to live. I still

April 7, 1959 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Pondicherry, April 7, 1959 Sweet Mother, I come to renew before you the resolution that I took this morning at the Samadhi.' Henceforth I refuse to be an accomplice to this force. It is my enemy. Whatever form it may take, or whatever supports it may find in my nature, I will refuse to yield to it and will cling to you. You are the only reality: that is my mantra. Anything that seeks to make me doubt you is my enemy. You are the only Reality. And each time I feel the shadow approach, I will call to you, immediately. May you never again suffer because of me. O Mother, purify me and open my heart. Your child, Signed: Sat

November 8, 1960 (After a conversation with Z, a distant 'disciple' reputed for his loose morals and the object of numerous 'moralistic' or even so-called 'yogic' criticisms among the 'true disciples' in the Ashram) He lives in a region which is largely a kind of vital vibration which penetrates the mind and makes use of the imagination (essentially it's the same region most so-called cultured men live in). I don't mean to be severe or critical, but it's a world that likes to play to itself. It's not really what we could call histrionics, not that - it's rather a need to dramatize to oneself. So it can be an heroic drama, it can be a musical drama, it can be a tragic d

September 27, 1957 (A child's question concerning a vision in which Mother had appeared to her in a luminous body) Why have you come as we are? Why haven't you come as you really are? Had I not come as you are, I would never have been able to be close to you and tell you: 'Become what I am.' Page 110 ISBN 2-902776-33-0

Undated 1957 (On past lives) If we are to speak of these things truly, we must speak of everything, in all details, for among the innumerable experiences I have had for nearly eighty years, many were of such variety and apparently so contradictory that in truth it can be said that all is possible. Therefore, to say something about past lives without retrieving the thread that runs through all the elements is to open the door to dogmatism. One day they will say, 'Mother said this, Mother said that ...' and that is, alas, how dogmas are born. So given the multiplicity of experiences and the impossibility of spending my life speaking and writing, you must clearly understand that every

August 27, 1960 I would like to see you much more often, perhaps three or four times a week, every other day - if people would ... It's the same with the letters. They assassinate me with their letters. The little basket I put them in can no longer close! I take 45 minutes every morning upstairs to write letters. And I receive six, seven, eight, ten letters a day, so how can I manage? In the end, Sri Aurobindo spent the whole night writing letters - till he went blind. Myself, I can't afford to do that, I have other things to do. And I'm not keen on going blind either. I need my eyes, they are my work instruments. On top of that, there are all the people who want to

November 15, 1958 (Concerning an experience Mother had on November 13 in regard to the disciple's difficulties) Truly speaking, perhaps one is never rid of the hostile forces as long as one has not permanently emerged into the Light, above the lower hemisphere. There, the term 'hostile forces' loses its meaning; they become only forces of progress, they force you to progress. But to see things in this way, you have to get out of the lower hemisphere, for below, they are very real in their opposition to the divine plan. It was said in the ancient traditions that one could not live for more than twenty days in this higher state without leaving one's body and returning to the s

August 10, 1960 (Concerning two teachers at the Ashram's Center of Education who wrote Mother asking if 'only' Sri Aurobindo should be studied. Pavitra was present during this conversation.) An eight page letter - nothing but passion. (Pavitra:) Yes, Mother. It's all from up here (Mother touches her forehead). (Pavitra:) Passion and reactions. Passion, passion - but this passion and these reactions are the same, thing. And then they stuff into it what they consider intellectual reasonings, but their intellectuality is not so terribly luminous - anyway ... (Mother shows the letter) Here, I'll read this to you for your edification (!). Page 404 'And final

October 2, 1960 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) 1960 Sunday evening Sweet Mother, As I did not find the translation of the Message fully satisfying, I have continued pondering over it. Then another possibility, which MAY be better, presented itself. Here it is: Ce monde merveilleux de félicité, à nos portes, qui attend notre appel pour descendre sur la terre.* In this way we keep the word appel [call], which is strong. All I did was change the relative pronoun (at first you had translated it as qui, à nos portes, attend notre appel. 2). . 'This wonderful world of delight, at our gates, waiting for our call to come down upon earth.' Signed: Satprem

Undated 1957 What is meant exactly by, 'I am with you.' Are we really always heard when we pray of struggle with an inner problem - in spite of our blunders and imperfections, even in spite of our ill will and mistakes? And who hears? You who are with us? Is it you in your supreme consciousness, an impersonal divine force, the force of the yoga, or you, the embodied Mother with your physical consciousness - a personal presence really in timate to our every thought and act, and not some anonymous force? Can you tell us how and in what way you are present with us? It is said that Sri Aurobindo and you are one and the same consciousness, but are the personal presence of Sri Aurobi