November 27, 1958 (Concerning the disciple's karma and the tantric discipline that he is following to dissolve this karma, Mother wonders why She herself had not been able to dissolve it directly and why it was necessary to resort to intermediaries) I am used to seeing the process or the working of things more from a spiritual point of view, something more universal, whereas this needs to be seen from a detailed, occult point of view. For example, one thing had always appeared unimportant to me in action - intermediaries between the spiritualized individual being, the conscious soul, and the Supreme. According to my personal experience, it had always seemed to me t

April 24, 1959 (Note sent by Mother to Satprem) 24 April 1959 The divine perfection is always there above us; but for man to become divine in consciousness and act and to live inwardly and outwardly the divine life is what is meant by spirituality; all lesser meanings given to the word are inadequate fumblings or impostures.' Page 295 ISBN 2-902776-33-0

Undated 1956 (b) (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Pondicherry Sweet Mother, with all the sincerity of which I am capable, I am putting before you an important problem (important to me) so that you may help me resolve it. I feel that I am coming to a decisive turning point, but something is preventing me from going any further. All my past is weighing down on me, not because of any attachments, for I regret NOTHING of my past and my only hope is what lies before me. Yet I have not entirely undergone all this like a marionette, it even seems to me that 'I' have created it, composed it like a book - for the last fifteen years, from the time of the concentration camps, I have conscio

M o t h e r's   A g e n d a   March_1959 March (?) 1959 (Letter to Mother from Satprem concerning X's inquiry  into who had practiced black magic on her) Pondicherry Sweet Mother, I will be seeing you tomorrow, but I prefer to state things clearly now; if you wish, I can read you my letter when we meet. Here is what X told me: 'The message came this morning during the Puja; my guru spoke in the form of Sanskrit slokas and this is not easy to express in English. Normally, I might have waited rather long for the answer, but because of the greatness of the Mother, it came immediately. The message implicated not 7 people, but 25 to 50, all or almost all Gujaratis.' (Here, X said something I am not

M o t h e r's   A g e n d a   January_1959 January 1959 O mon doux Seigneur,  Toi seul, Tu es grand, Toi seul, Tu vois grand, Toi seul peux me conduire là où je veux aller. (translation) O my sweet Lord,  You alone, You vastly are, You alone, You vastly see, You alone can lead me there where I want to go.   1. Original English. Page 343 Home ISBN 2-902776-33-0

M o t h e r's   A g e n d a   Undated_1958 Undated 1958 When the hostile forces want to attack those around me but do not succeed in making them overtly hostile to Sri Aurobindo's work or in making them turn against me personally, they always use the same tactic, with the same argument: 'You may have all the inner realizations you want,' they say, 'the most beautiful experiences possible inside your four Ashram walls, but as far as the outer world is concerned, your life is wasted, lost. There is an abyss you will never bridge between your inner experience and a concrete realization in the world.' This is the number one argument of the hostile forces. I know it well - for millions of years I have bee

January 28, 1960 All these repetitions of the mantra, these hours of japa I haveto do every day, seem to have increased the difficulties, as if they were raising up or aggravating all the resistances. To the most stubborn goes the victory. When I started my japa one year ago, I had to struggle with every possible difficulty, every contradiction, prejudice and opposition that fills the air. And even when this poor body began walking back and forth for japa, it used to knock against things, it would start breathing all wrong, coughing; it was attacked from all sides until the day I caught the Enemy and said,' Listen carefully. You can do whatever you want, but I'm going

February 25, 1958 (On suffering) These surface things are not dramatic. More and more, they seem to me like soap bubbles, especially since February 3. Some people come to see me in utter despair, in tears, in what they call terrible moral suffering; when I see them like that I slightly shift the needle in that part of my consciousness containing all of you, and when they leave, they are completely relieved. It is just like a compass needle - I slightly shift the needle in my consciousness, and it's over. Naturally, through habit, it returns later on. But these are mere soap bubbles. I too have known suffering, but there was always a part of me that knew how to hold itself ba

September 2, 1960 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Pondicherry, September 2, 1960 Sweet Mother, After leaving your room, X kept repeating, 'Very wonderful.' Then he explained to me that 'white rays' were 'vibrating everywhere' - along the whole length of the Kundalini, white, Page 414 yellow and blue, but especially white (he indicated the forehead in particular). He looked quite ecstatic while speaking of his experience. In conclusion, he said, 'Where is the Mother and where is X?' meaning, I suppose, that all separation had disappeared. With love. Signed: Satprem Page 415 ISBN 2-902776-33-0

March 3, 1960 Experiences are coming at a furious pace - fabulous experiences. If I were to speak now, it's certain that I would not at all speak as I used to. That's why we must date all these Questions and Answers, at least all which come before the [Supramental] Manifestation of February 1956, so that there will be a clear cut between those before and those after. Only a few days ago, on the morning of the 29th, I had one of those experiences that mark one's life. It happened upstairs in my room. I was doing my japa, walking up and down with my eyes wide open, when suddenly Krishna came - a gold Krishna, all golden, in a golden light that filled the whole room. I was walking, b