October 8, 1960 There are moments while reading the Synthesis of Yoga when I feel so clearly why he put this particular word in that particular place, and why it could not have been otherwise - that's what makes the translation difficult. For the placement of words is not the same in English and in French. In English, for example, the place an adverb occupies is of major importance for the precise meaning. In French also, but generally it's not the same! If at least it were exactly the opposite of English it would be easier, but it's not exactly the opposite. It's the same thing for the word order in a series of modifiers or any string of words; usually in English, for example, the

February 1958 (A few days after the experience of February 3, Mother had other experiences that seemed a continuation of it) Everyone carries with him, in his atmosphere, what Sri Aurobindo calls the 'Censors'; in a way, they are the permanent delegates of the hostile forces. Their role is to criticize mercilessly each act, each thought, the least movement of the consciousness, and to place you before the most hidden motives of your behavior, to expose the least lower vibration accompanying your apparently purest or highest thoughts or acts. It is not here a question of morality. These gentlemen are not moralizing agents, although they know very well how to make use of mor

January 18, 1957 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Pondicherry, January 18, 1957 Sweet Mother, The conflict that is tearing me apart is between this shadowy part of a past that does not want to die, and the new light. I wonder if, rather than escaping to some desert, it would not be wiser to resolve this conflict by objectify it, by writing this book I spoke to you about. But I would like to know whether it is really useful for me to write this book, or whether it is not just some inferior task, a makeshift. You told me one day that I could be 'useful' to you. Then, by chance, I came across this passage from Sri Aurobindo the other day: 'Everyone has in him something

November 14, 1958 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Pondicherry, November 14, 1958 Mother, I feel disguised.' And I detest hypocrisy - I have many faults, but not that one. So I believe it would be better for me to leave. Through my friends in Hyderabad, I can contact some people who are doing business in the forests of the Belgian Congo. I want to go there, alone and far away from everything. But there is always this wretched question of money. I need it to leave and to pay for the journey. Afterwards, I will manage. Anyway, it is all the same to me; I am not afraid of anything any longer. I. Due to the orange robes of the sannyasi. Page 233 It seems to

April 20, 1956 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Pondicherry, April 20, 1956 Sweet Mother, The difficulties of the past weeks have taught me that as soon as one strays from the true consciousness, in however trifling a way, anything may happen, any excess, any aberration, any imbalance - and I have felt very dangerous things prowling about me. Mother, you told me in regard to Patrick[[A friend of Satprem's who died insane in a Japanese hospital in India. ]] that the law of the manifestation was a law of freedom, even the freedom to choose wrongly. This evening, it has been my very deep perception that this freedom is virtually always a freedom to choose wrongly. I harbor a great

June 9, 1955 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Pondicherry, June 9, 1955 Mother, I cannot say that it is a nostalgia for the outside world that is drawing me backwards nor some attachment to a 'personal' form of life, nor even some vital desire seeking its own satisfaction. That old world no longer attracts me, and I do not see at all what I would do there. Yet something is standing in my way. Page 51 If only I could see a distinct 'error' blocking my path which I could clearly attack ... But I feel that I am not responsible, that it is not my personal fault if I remain without aspiration, stagnating. I feel like a battlefield of contending forces that are beyond me and against

January 1, 1957 1957 A power greater than that of Evil can alone win the victory. It is not a crucified but a glorified body that will save the world. Page 99 ISBN 2-902776-33-0

May 19, 1959 When you follow the ascending path, the work is relatively easy. I had already covered this path by the beginning of the century and had established a constant relationship with the Supreme - That which is beyond the Personal and the gods and all the outward expressions of the Divine, but also beyond the Absolute Impersonal. It's something you cannot describe; you must experience it. And this is what must be brought down into Matter. Such is the descending path, the one I began with Sri Aurobindo; and there, the work is immense. The thing can still be brought down as far as the mental and vital planes (although Sri Aurobindo said that thousands of lifetimes would be ne

May 21, 1960 What I call purity, the true purity, is not all those things morality teaches: it is non-ego. There must be nothing but Him. Him, not only because we have given Him everything and consecrated ourselves totally to Him (that is not enough), but Him because He has taken total possession of the human instrument. At times, I feel that I'll never get over the difficulty. We are besieged by this enormous world of hostile forces - oceans of forces, churning and combining and submerging each other in gigantic pralayas,' then again regrouping and combining. When you see that, it feels as if you had to be the Divine Himself to get over the difficulty. Precisely so! (And it'

Undated, June 1960 (Letter to Mother from Satprem) Pondicherry, June 1960 Sweet Mother, This is to tell you that the proofs of L'Orpailleur are being sent off this morning at 11 o'clock ... I don't have many pages of The Synthesis ready. Nevertheless, will I see you tomorrow as you planned? Your child, Signed: Satprem P.S. Please protect 'my' Orpailleur! Page 388 (Mother's reply) 6.17.60 My dear little one, I am with you, and what is needed shall be done. Don't worry, all will go well. In a confident peace and joy. Signed: Mother Page 389 ISBN 2-902776-33-0