November 20, 1963 So, any news? How are you? So-so. Not all that well? Not all that well, no. Your health isn't good? Not too good either. What's wrong? It's inside also. Oh, then that's why! What's wrong inside? You don't want to tell me? I'm a bit... disillusioned. By what? My faith doesn't waver, but I have the impression that except for a certain number of things I have to do and for which I receive a precise help, a help really from above, for the rest, nothing. You understand, it's ten years now since I came here, well, there's nothing - not that I lack faith, but there's no development. Maybe not the development you're expecting. Well, for

June 26, 1963 (Regarding Satprem's Tantric yantram) I made an experiment: writing the letter OM. When you have written it four, five, six times, it becomes excellent! I wanted to know why you were asked to do that work and what you could draw from it. So I sat down to write your yantram, and it became very living, I could see it in front of me - I kept seeing it all the while. "But then," I thought, "the VERY FACT of writing must have an effect." Then I started writing the letter OM carefully.... Well, when I came to the fourth, the fifth, it became excellent - excellent, as though it were creating a vibration. That's the power it has, an external power. But then it was very amusing

October October 3, 1963 (On Mother's table are two double white hibiscus flowers called "Grace." Mother takes one and gives it to Satprem:) N. had a dream last night in which Sri Aurobindo gave her many things, then I came and gave her two "Grace" flowers. And in the morning, she wakes up, goes to her garden ... on the tree were two Grace flowers. It's amusing. So, what have you brought? I have a letter from X. Well! ... What does he say? I asked him what I should do: today I finished the second "round" of my Tantric writings. So he says, "Once more start the thing and continue." Naturally he said you should go to the end. So I need more paper! Ayo! If we can

June 12, 1963 There was something happening.... I was brushing it away when something said to me, "If you don't tell this to Satprem, it will be lost forever." But I was already erasing it, so now I don't remember what it was.... It was last night, in the middle of the night. (silence Mother tries to remember, the clock strikes) It was a rather acute sensation that when the world, the earth, goes from one state to another, there is a sort of transition; it is always like a ridge between two mountains (gesture of a precarious balance), and there is a very perilous moment when the slightest thing can cause a catastrophe - which means a lot of things would have to be built anew. T

May 18, 1963 (Mother asks for a box of paints to demonstrate practically the gradation of colors of the levels of consciousness, from the most material Nature to the Supreme. The point is to illustrate the symbol of Infinity, the figure 8, which Mother explained in the conversation of May 11: the infinite play of the Supreme reaching down to Nature and Nature rising toward the Supreme. Mother speaks in English in the presence of a disciple, who is a painter, so that he may convey her explanations to H., the disciple who is preparing illustrations for "Savitri.") Of course, all these things are lights, so you can't reproduce them. But still, it must be a violet that is not dull and not d

March 13, 1963 (Mother opens "Savitri." She intended to translate "The Debate of Love and Death." The book opens "by chance" on the last lines of Death's defeat, which Mother reads aloud:) Page 79 And [Death] left crumbling the shape that he had worn, Abandoning hope to make man's soul his prey And force to be mortal the immortal spirit. (X.IV.667) No matter where you open, no matter where you read, it's wonderful! Immediately it's wonderful - strange, these three lines, aren't they.... Abandoning hope to make man's soul his prey And force to be mortal the immortal spirit. Wonderful. These people could very easily lure me: for a long time they have been ask

June 26, 1963 (Letter to Mother from Sujata) Wednesday Little Mother, I had a dream this afternoon. I told it to Satprem, who said I should write to you about it. I was on a staircase that looked like the one leading to the meditation room. Two Ashram girls, about sixteen or seventeen years old, were there, waiting to go upstairs to see "mother." When I heard that, I was seized by a sense of great danger. Because I KNEW that You weren't there. So I began to give instructions to the two girls, whom I knew, in fact, one especially. I don't remember what I told them but it was a matter of will - of life and death. The girl who knew me well promised she would do as I said, the oth

July 6, 1963 Then? There are some texts from the Agenda. Again! But I didn't say a word! I said you should cut out everything. But some things should be kept. All right then. There is also the previous conversation: your experience of the pink clay boat....[[On June 29. ]] Ah! You know, the next day, I saw Sri Aurobindo again - it was Sri Aurobindo, he was with me, but a bit taller than the previous time, a bit slimmer, with his skin almost white, almost like mine (not the white of northern people but a kind of golden white). So I looked at him and smiled (because it had changed, you see!), I didn't say anything, but (laughing) he told me: Yes, to meet all tastes!

June 29, 1963 (Mother glances through a collection of Playground Talks and chances on the following question, which she answers immediately:) "Why isn't the universe a place of perfect bliss?"[[Questions and Answers, July 18, 1956. ]] Because it's progressive. There is no other reason. *** (Then Mother speaks of the new Pope, Paul VI, who was elected a few days earlier:) Sri Aurobindo seems to have taken interest in the Pope's successor ... because two nights ago (not in the night, at four in the morning), I was with him - I spent a half hour with him (a half hour of OUR time, which is very long), he had just returned from a "tour," in Italy especially. We didn't directly talk

April 20, 1963 D. was telling me just now that he is advised to meditate with his eyes open (I know, it keeps you active somewhere), and he said that if by mischance he closes his eyes, he can't move any more! He is conscious but completely paralyzed: he can't get up, can't move, can't even turn his head! It's dangerous. So I advised him to be sure to keep his eyes open: it maintains a certain activity. When you close your eyes, you plunge into trance (you are perfectly conscious, but you go into trance and the body is absolutely stilled). That's what Théon had taught me: you free Page 113 the body consciousness and train it in such a way that it can act on its own, so tha