June 27, 1964 (From Satprem to Sujata) Chatou-Chambery ... I don't feel tired - what tires me is rather human beings with their constant agitation and troubled atmosphere. Anyway, I am happy to be with my brother. The difficulty is that I no longer know how to speak, I have lost the habit of conversation, and people talk and talk, ask questions without giving you time to answer, and in that whirl it is quite hard to pull down true words. In fact, my only rest is when I am alone doing my japa; then everything seems to open, to relax, and I feel I am back home. Otherwise I am like a cork tossed about on the sea and turned in all directions. People don't live - they bustle about. It is

October 30, 1964 I feel we are turning a corner. It's very narrow. Do you know mountain roads?... All of a sudden, you come to a corner, a sharp turn, and you can't see the other side - below is a precipice, behind is the rock - and the path ... it would seem to have grown narrower in order to turn the corner, it's become quite narrow. I've encountered that in the mountains - often. And now, I feel we are turning the corner; but we are beginning to turn it, in the sense that we are beginning to see the other side, and the consciousness (always the body consciousness) is on the verge of a bedazzlement, like the first glimpses of something marvelous - not positively unexpected because

August 14, 1962 (Satprem did not keep any record of his questions at the beginning of the following conversation, nor does he exactly remember the circumstances that led to it. It seems that he wanted to write a letter to X, his former Tantric guru, or meet him, to explain what had happened and, in fact, to tell X that he still held him in deepest affection, despite external circumstances and Satprem's outward break with him.) ... One must never go back; one must always go forward. The curves of life go this way and that (meandering gesture), and only by being the supramental arrow can you go beyond. What happened [with X] was necessary. But there's a step that goes beyond holding

May 24, 1962 73 - When Wisdom comes, her first lesson is, "There is no such thing as knowledge; there are only aperçus of the Infinite Deity." Very good. No need for questions. 74 - Practical knowledge is a different thing; that is real and serviceable, but it is never complete. Therefore to systematise and codify it is necessary but fatal. It is real within its own realm - only within its own realm. I have looked at this very, very often. There was even a time when I thought that if one could get a total, complete and perfect knowledge of the whole working of physical Nature as we perceive it in the world of Ignorance, then this might be a means to rediscover or reattain th

December 25, 1962 What have you brought? Your book? Do you have your book? A bit of it, yes. All right, begin with that. It's getting to be heavy going, you know.... Oh! I'm under a lot of pressure ... I'm thinking of the "Bulletin," of everything that remains to be done. No. But I have to! Just let it come naturally, like that. Don't think ahead. Just put a piece of paper in front of you and let it come. Page 467 Otherwise you give yourself a headache. All right, I am listening; read what you've brought. It's not perfect yet. No problem. I am perfecting it - all I have to do is hear it. !? You don't believe it, do you? But I can

December 19, 1962 (A few days earlier, Mother inaugurated the new music room built on the terrace near her room. Without informing her, the disciples had also built a balcony, in the hope that Mother would start giving "morning darshans" again, as she used to in the past.) How are you feeling? Better or not? Inwardly, yes, I'm all right. Because the series continues; I mean everything everywhere seems to want to disintegrate: everything everywhere. But the Power is beginning to have an effect (that's putting it poorly, it's not exactly that ...). It's as though I were presented with every possible opportunity to use the Power and they're not coming one Page 457 after t

November 14, 1962 (Satprem reads a passage from his manuscript describing the relation between the subconscient and the supraconscient, in which he says: "One cannot be healed unless one goes down to the very bottom; and one cannot go down to the very bottom unless one goes up to the very heights.") Page 411 It's getting interesting.... It's the formulation - not the theory, not the explanation (it's more than intellectual), but the literary expression of what I've been experiencing all these nights. Not only at night, in the daytime too. It's as if I were touching the dregs of things. No later than yesterday night, I had this feeling: "My god, there's always farther dow

September 22, 1962 (Mother makes this brief remark about someone who practices traditional yoga and is constantly ill:) ... That's the essential failing of the old yogic system: things go quite nicely on the level where they practice yoga, but as soon as they descend, they're worse than everyone else! *** (After listening to a passage in Satprem's manuscript on nonviolence and Gandhi, Mother makes another brief remark:) They're really smacking their lips over their ahimsa[[Ahimsa: nonviolence. ]] - it's disgusting! *** ADDENDUM (Short extract from the passage in The Adventure of Consciousness that Satprem just read to Mother:) ... In the middle of the First Wo

May May 8, 1962 (Note to Mother from Satprem) Among other things, X writes: 1) That he will make a special four-day puja here, in order to help. 2) That he has "understood": it has come to his [inner] knowledge that "the present period is terrible." What am I to tell him or give him to understand when I meet him at the station? (Mother's reply overleaf) If he is not yet aware of it, he should probably be informed of the message that was taped. You can tell him that the body is much better, but that I still have to take a great deal of care and precaution. I don't come down from my room, which has been transformed into a sickroom, and it will be impossible for me to s

July 28, 1962 (Mother refers back to the last conversation, where she spoke of her different stages of development.) I have seen that the different stages of my development occurred in twelve-year periods, though I don't recall the exact dates. The first period, from the age of five (I can't start earlier than five!) to about eighteen, dealt with consciousness. Then came all the artistic and vital development, culminating in the occult development with Théon (I met Théon around 1905 or '06, I think[[In fact, Mother met Théon for the first time one day in 1904, in Paris. Then she went to Tlemcen in 1905 and again in 1906. ]]). Then right around this time an intensive mental development