27 October 1969 Well, friends, today is our last-but-one sitting - our swan song for this term will be on Wednesday. I am very grateful to you, first of all, for giving me some respite, some breathing space. To speak for three consecutive days, for a man who is not used to doing so, and particularly on a subject that is very high and sublime, is not easy. I am not at all reluctant to speak to you about our beloved Lord, about whom you are so eager to know something. Out of the four or five of us who came into close contact with Him, only two or three are still alive, and of these few, I am taking the burden of speaking to you. My friend Champaklal doesn't believe

2 July 1969 Well, I confessed to you the other day my weakness for green vegetables; by putting such lovely flowers on the table, you'll help me to outgrow this weakness and uphold my nature. Only I can't say like Wordsworth (I might misquote, that's my habit!): To me the meanest flower that blows can give Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears.51 In my previous talk, you remember, I told you about one or two of my experiences in dream and in sleep. I will tell you today about another incident, a very minor one, to show you how the guidance comes sometimes in a very amusing manner. It happened after our talk here. Perhaps He wanted to give me mo

23 October 1969 I don't know whether I am happy or sad to find the room so unexpectedly packed, but Sri Aurobindo says that it is always the unexpected that happens, of course, in appearance only. I don't know who has tom-tommed about this talk! Among this crowd, there are quite a number of distinguished guests, as you have noticed, from our great poet's Home of Peace to our home of rain.267 But, as Mother says, rain is the symbol of new life, new creation, so we welcome them here. But I'll warn them, at the same time, that the subject matter will be a bit personal. By the way, it is not a speech, it is supposed to be a talk. 267 Home of Peace: literal tra

25 June 1969 I told you I have a suspicion that the Lord is taking an active interest in our class. Now it appears to be more than a suspicion - well, I will give you today evidence of how He is taking interest. They may be small but they can be significant, if we know how to look at these things. Not that He didn't take an interest from the beginning, but we weren't perhaps so conscious about it - at least I was not - and the consciousness seems to have descended, since January! As I was looking through my small collection of books, I came across, very unexpectedly, this green-covered notebook; it had no business to be 40 Intense concentration of consciousness, often

8 October 1969 Dear children, I hope my addressing you as children doesn't make you think that I am inspired by your great Prime Minister,243 that I am imitating her style, her manner, though I admit that the expression coming from the mouth of a lady Prime Minister is sweeter than in the metallic male tone of a teacher. The word 'metallic' reminds me again of something else. Once, in the presence of Sri Aurobindo, I sneezed very loudly. He was sitting on the bed, we were around Him. I don't know what provoked my olfactory nerves, but I had no control. The more I tried to control the sneeze, the more it seemed ready to burst and finally it did. And He remarked: "What

23 July 1969 That spectacle of shoes over there, this plethora of shoes of various sorts made by Govindaraj,95 reminds me of a queer vision I had long, long ago. I've spoken about it earlier, that I have something of the nature of Hamlet in me. Sri Aurobindo said that, all the time, all the time, I Hamletise! I don't know whether you understand the meaning of the word. When I'm faced with a situation where I can't take a decision (shall I do this or shall I do that), I have no vital intuition; I never had any which could tell me what decisions should be made, what path should be followed. Sometimes I refer the problem to a higher authority to help me decide these smal

18 June 1969 [Nirod-da narrates the Mother's story of the boy whom She had taught to put his fists in his pocket whenever he was angry, so that he wouldn't respond violently. ] I'm sure many of you here are boys of this sort; about the girls I don't know! Mother surely doesn't mean here the practice of non-violence. What she means, I think, is control over one's passions. Control of passions is one thing, non-violence another. Those who are apostles of non-violence will ask you to practise it in all circumstances; but, as you know, Mother and Sri Aurobindo don't hold this view. There are some occasions when the use of the fist is necessary. If a ruffian comes, then you

24 September 1969 Well, friends, some good news! Today there's a marriage party to which I have been cordially invited from the side of the bride. So perhaps our party here might get cut short, I hope you won't mind. Once in a blue moon, such parties come to us. Don't grudge us our enjoyment at your expense! I read out to you quite a long article by one of our gentlemen in the Ashram, Charu Dutt; and you've had some fresh glimpses into the life of our Master. You've also observed, I believe, how close a tie Charu Dutt had with Sri Aurobindo, not only in this life but in many past lives; and the tie was so close and intimate that he could not bear the separation f

8 September 1969 When I told you in my talk last Wednesday that I went, like the Lord, to prison, but, unlike Him, saw nothing, perhaps you 190These are noble characters in Bankim Chandra's novel. The author of the article is saying here that Sri Aurobindo is equal to all of them at once. 191Foreigner, in Urdu and Hindi. The word often carries a derogatory connotation. 192A temple to the Divine Mother who is representative of the nation. Page-135 didn't get the hint. Well, I did go to prison! After my matriculation, in 1920 or 1921, the Non-Cooperation Movement193 started. People were leaving schools and colleges to spread the word in the village

Chapter VII The Alipore Bomb Case: One Year in Jail 1908-1909 ON FRIDAY night I was sleeping without a worry. At about five the next morning [May 2, 1908] my sister rushed to my room in great agitation and called me out by name. I got up. The next moment the small room was filled with armed policemen! Superintendent Cregan, Mr. dark of 24-Paraganas, the charming and delightful visage of familiar Sriman Benod Gupta, a few inspectors, red-turbaned policemen, spies and search witnesses. They all came running like heroes, pistols in hand, as though they were besieging, with guns and cannons, a well-armed fort. I heard that a whi