THE GREAT MOMENT First Contact     It was in the first week of January 1930.     At about 3 pm., I reached Dilip K. Roy's place. "Oh, you have come! Let us go," he said, and cutting a rose from his terrace-garden he added, "Offer this to the Mother." When we arrived at the Ashram he left me at the present Reading Room saying, "Wait here." My heart was beating nervously as if I were going to face an examination. A stately chair in the middle of the room attracted momentarily my attention. In a short while the Mother came accompanied by Nolini, Amrita and Dilip. She took her seat in the chair, the others stood by her side. I was dazzled by the sight. Was it a 'visionary gleam' or a rea

INITIATION     All this happened in the first week of January 1930. In February my niece and I visited the Ashram for the Darshan and stayed about a month. The inspiration came from her and I believe she enjoyed the stay much more than I did. I was still uncommitted. It was an altogether new mode of living, an esoteric life of the initiates into which I had stumbled without the least preparation. We took part in all the functions and observed the discipline of the Ashram : we never went out to the bazaar to have any refreshment or tea, though we were often hungry during the day or at night. I had not yet become a tea-addict. The simple beauty, purity and quietness of the atmosphere and th

V MEDICAL SADHANA The story of my reversion to the medical job in spite of my professed dislike for it is quite revealing. With no less dislike had I been compelled in the first place to take up the study of medicine. I must have been born under a medical star whose influence ceased only after it had led me to serve Sri Aurobindo in my capacity as a doctor. Could I not then a flirm that to be a medical gent was my destiny ?     But the course it followed was a sinuous one. Let me recount what led to my being transferred to the Dispensary in an unexpected manner. One day when I was doing well in my timber-job, I wrote in an unguarded moment to Sri Aurobindo that my medical studies costing me

VII AFTER 1950 - NEW RELATION        1938-1950 was a long gap during which the story of my relation with the Mother has been told in Twelve Years with Sri Aurobindo. I need not repeat it here.     I could not sever my connection however, with the Dispensary all at once. When Sri Aurobindo's condition had taken a settled turn and our respective duties had been fixed, I began to attend to the patients during my off-duty hours. I used to give a verbal report to the Mother and Sri Aurobindo whenever there was any need for it. Fortunately after a few years Dr. Nripendra came up and took charge of the Dispensary. I was then relieved of the burden of running up and down and trying to mai

XXI I AM WITH YOU...     I am with you because I am you or you are I.     I am with you, that signifies a world of things because I am with you on all levels, in all planes, from the supreme consciousness down to the most physical. Here, at Pondicherry, you cannot breathe without breathing my consciousness. It saturates the atmosphere almost materially, in the subtle physical and extends to the Lake, 10 kilometers from here. Farther, my consciousness can be felt in the material vital, then on the mental plane and other higher planes, everywhere. When I came here for the first time,I felt the atmosphere of Sri Aurobindo, felt materially, at a distance of ten miles, ten nautical miles, n

XIX OUR DEBT AND HOMAGE     Thus more than forty long years of my contact came to a sudden end just when that contact was blossoming into a closer union 'through a long dim preparation'. As I have shown in my account, there have always been unhappy but seemingly unnecessary interruptions since 1950, severing the physical tie and throwing me for a time on reliance upon the inner support. But my personal loss counted for nothing before the tremendous void felt by the entire Ashram. The Mother made us forget Sri Aurobindo's most painful absence by her all - encompassing divine love and solicitude. But who is there to console us now? Who shall guide and protect us ? We have to seek for that c

XI MY FAMILY AND THE MOTHER'S GRACE By "my family", I mean my old mother, my sister and her children. Most unexpected was their arrival here, particularly of my sister; and most generous, I should say magnanimous, was the Mother in her acceptance of them all. My mother came first followed by my sister with her children, but they arrived in batches. When the last batch wanted to come, the Mother said, "Let us first see how these get on." After a year or so, all of them found shelter under her wide protective wings. She observed later on before Sri Aurobindo that they were a "success". I remember Amrita going about and looking for a house where the entire family could be lodged together. A n

12 OCTOBER 1940 The Czech national committee of Bombay published a pamphlet on the oppressive rules instituted by Germany in Czechoslovakia against university education. The Mother brought a copy of it to Sri Aurobindo in the morning SRI AUROBINDO (after breakfast): Those who think that Hitler's rule in India won't make much difference from the British, can read it. Then they will see why I support the British. But this is only one example of their oppression, directed only against the university. PURANI: I have read it. Jallianwalla Bagh seems only a small incident by its side and that was committed by a single man who was afterwards compelled to retir

5 MAY 1940 PURANI: I don't think England has withdrawn from Trendjheim because of the Italian threat. SATYENDRA: The debate comes on Tuesday. The Labour Party is going to heckle Chamberlain. Simon says, "Be cheerful and we will win in the end." (Laughter) Page - 614 SRI AUROBINDO: He means, " Be cheerful and we will muddle through." Hore-Belisha will now say, "I told you so." NIRODBARAN: Almost all the papers have supported the Government except The Mail, The Herald and The News. SATYENDRA: The papers say the Ministers have all agreed on their policy. SRI AUROBINDO: Yes, Hore-Belisha also, I suppose! Chamberlain said, "We are perfectly

8 MARCH 1940 NIRODBARAN: Nishikanto has passed a distressing night. He says that whatever little faith and devotion he had has left him. Now the physical also, with which he wanted to serve the Divine, is out of gear. So he is getting depressed. SRI AUROBINDO: Why depression? The thing is to get cured. NIRODBARAN: He doesn't believe he will be cured. He was thinking he would go where his eyes took him. SRI AUROBINDO: In English they say: "To follow your nose." But what is his complaint at present? NIRODBARAN: Pain. Pain is constant though he doesn't feel it. (Laughter) SRI AUROBINDO: How is that? If he doesn't feel it, how can there be p