1 JANUARY 1939 Evening, 5.30. The conversation was begun by Dr. Becharlal. We knew from the peculiar signs on his face that he was preparing and he soon burst forth. DR. BECHARLAL: What is the effect of fasting? SRI AUROBINDO (knitting his brows as usual at Dr. Becharlal's question): What about it? DR. BECHARLAL: The effect of fasting on Yoga? Page-85 SRI AUROBINDO (as if the question now were not so perplexing after all): It gives a sort of excitement to the vital being, but the effect does not seem. to be very sound. I fasted twice— once in Alipore jail for ten days and the other time in Pondicherry for twenty-three days. At Alipore I was

10 JANUARY 1939 Today Sri Aurobindo opened the talk by inquiring from Satyendra about X's health. Then the talk proceeded to homoeopathy. The Mother came and took some part in it. After she had gone, the talk on medicine continued. SRI AUROBINDO: Once in Baroda I had a nasty abscess on the knee. All treatment failed. Then Madhavrao Jadhav called in a Mohammedan who pricked the knee at a particular point and brought out a big drop of black blood and the abscess was cured soon afterwards! He must have known the spot to prick. I also remember Jatin Banerji curing many cases of sterility by a Sannyasi's medicine given to him. Cases of ten or fifteen years' sterility

23 FEBRUARY 1940 SRI AUROBINDO: The hippopotamus is also Swayambhu? DR. MANILAL: Why not, Sir? SRI AUROBINDO: That is not science. Evolution doesn't say that. SATYENDRA (to Manilal) According to you, the world was and will be just as it is: everything, space and air compact with the Nigodha or Jiva from eternity? (Laughter) SRI AUROBINDO: Space is also Swayambhu then? DR. MANILAL: Yes, Sir, the creation is infinite; it has no beginning, no end, like a tennis ball! (Laughter) SRI AUROBINDO: And self-existent with Eliot and his hippopotamus existing from eternity? (Laughter) SATYENDRA (to Dr. Manilal): If you don't believe God has cr

21 FEBRUARY 1940 DR. MANILAL: They are always close. SATYENDRA: No, this is the first time they are so near each other. SRI AUROBINDO: They are supposed to counteract the influences of Saturn and Mars which foreboded a great event. SATYENDRA: Saturn and Mars came close to each other on the 13th, but nothing happened. Girdharlal says that it does not mean that the results will be immediate. They may happen long after. SRI AUROBINDO: Something may have happened already. Some more Finns were probably killed. And this Altmark incident may be due to Saturn and Mars! DR. MANILAL: The astrologers recommend various ceremonies to propitiate Saturn

XVII THE LAST RAY     Our meeting with the Mother proceeded in this manner, T and K together, and myself alone, reading our respective matters on alternate days. She had no further comments to make on my Talks. Probably at the end of March 1973, she fell ill and all our meetings stopped. When she had recovered, some interviews were gradually resumed. I think it was at this time I had my last darshan. As usual, I was waiting outside for my turn though I was almost certain that I would not be called since she had just come out of her illness. Still I had to go and wait, for none could predict the Mother's ways. And this was precisely what happened. I was called in. What I saw made me almos

VI THE MOTHER TAKES UP MEDICAL CORRESPONDENCE     Near about 1937 Sri Aurobindo had some trouble with his eyes. All correspondence had to be suspended. Though I carried on my medical duties without the Mother's guidance, both the patients and the doctor felt the need of her physical support. The Mother, therefore, came to our rescue and took up the correspondence herself. I shall give in these pages some instances of her direct instructions.     An old sadhak had contracted TB. I wrote to the Mother that the case was serious, but that there was still hope. The medical treatment possible was next to nil (I am talking of the 'thirtees ). "If you want to cure him," I said, "please do it as you

XVI 1971  - 1973 SWEETNESS AND LIGHT The Mother's unexpected sanction and encouragement for writing Twelve Years with Sri Aurobindo, spurred me to action and I began working on the book. She seemed to have pumped a Force into me at the same time so that I had to be constantly busy and active which is against the grain of my nature. My personal contact with her had stopped owing to her illness. Now I felt that it should be renewed: then I might draw some inspiration directly from the contact. My prayer was granted and I started seeing her once a week. It was not quite the same Mother as I had seen in the year 1967-1968. Physically she had become frail, but her face was ever bright and h

III PLUNGE INTO DARKNESS     As soon as we reached Chittagong, I received a telegram from my relatives in Rangoon that a Government post had fallen vacant and I was sure to get it, if I applied for it. I was in a fix, for I had told the Mother that I would practise in my home town. Fate now decided otherwise and I sailed for Burma. That post was, however, not available, but in its stead, another job offered itself almost unasked for and unexpected. I had gone to pay a courtesy-call to a Professor in the Rangoon Medical College, an I. M. S. who was an Edinburgh graduate. He spoke to me of a job that was going to be vacant and he wanted me to apply for it. Not only so, he made me see the prope

XII 1960 ONWARDS     I have said that from the year 1953 onward the Mother spent a part of her time in her room on the second floor. She used to come down in the morning and go back, finishing all her work, at night. Then a change took place: coming down in the morning she would finish her work starting with the Balcony darshan and ending with seeing the usual group of people. It would last till noon, even a little later. Then she went up for lunch. After a couple of hours she came down, had her bath and began another round of seeing the departmental heads and other people. Near about 6 or 6.30 pm. she would go up and retire for the night. She had stopped going to the Tennis-ground and the Playgr

XIII REVELATION     For days in succession, the Mother was unusually sweet with me during the morning Pranam. She would hold my hands, look intently into my eyes smiling all the while so bewitchingly that it would be difficult for me not to turn away my gaze. As the other people around were watching with keen interest this mysteriously ecstatic communion, I used to feel embarrassed, but the Mother paid no attention and was absorbed in what she was doing. I felt as if she were looking into my very soul and suffusing my whole being with light. But what was the reason for it all, I could not tell. My friends, very much intrigued, would ask me afterwards for a clue. I had to disappoint th