September September 2, 1964 Satprem prepares to start the tape recorder, Mother stops him: There would be too many things to say. It's a sort of WORLD being worked out. (silence) It's still too complicated, it's impossible to say anything. Better to work. Page 187

April 8, 1964 (This was to be the last conversation before Satprem's departure for France, from where he would return in July.) Mother looks tired, she goes into a long contemplation. Will you continue [the Tantric discipline] there? Yes.... I must say that in my outer consciousness, I don't Page 108 know anything at all. I don't understand anything You don't understand? I understand nothing whatsoever. (Mother laughs) I simply know that there is "something else," and then I do what I have to do [japa, meditation], but what's happening, where I am, where I'm going, what I'm doing - I have no idea: I understand nothing at all. I have no perception of where

October 24, 1964 Mother comments again on her declaration: "I possess no powers." Oh, it has caused a general upheaval in the atmosphere! I have even received thoughts of this kind: "So then, Sri Aurobindo deceived us!" They're furious, furious. They haven't understood.... But anyway, it's going on in the subconscient. Page 254 No, no! They DELIBERATELY hadn't understood it before my declaration, because Sri Aurobindo never said we would work miracles! They deliberately hadn't understood. So, naturally, they're furious. But it may be better not to insist outwardly by publishing this. [[Satprem had suggested that some extracts from the last conversation be published i

October 21, 1964 On the 18th, I had an interesting experience. It was the doctor's birthday and I gave him a meditation, and after the meditation, he asked me to write for him what I had seen during the meditation. I had no intention of doing so, but an hour later, that is, at lunch time ... To be clear, I should tell the whole story from the beginning. Before the meditation, I told him, "You will let me know when you have finished - I don't want to let you know." So I finished what I had to do, then I took a look and said to myself, "Let's see now, let's try." And I simply made a formation and put it on him, saying, "Now, it's over." Then I didn't move, I stayed very quiet. It t

April 14, 1964 (All of Satprem's letters to Mother having disappeared, as we already said, under lock and key in Pondicherry, we thought it fit to throw light on this journey to France by publishing, along with Mother's letters, a few fragments of Satprem's letters to Sujata.) (From Satprem to Sujata) Paris For the past three days, I don't know how I've lived; I feel somewhat like a sleepwalker jostled about here, there and everywhere, walking, walking without quite knowing how, in a thick darkness - all I know is the Force, which I hold on to like a drowning Page 111 man.... All that is left is the feeling of being far from home, far from all that is true, good, rest

March 25, 1964 101 - In God's sight there is no near or distant, no present, past or future. These things are only a convenient perspective for His world-picture. 102 - To the senses it is always true that the sun moves round the earth; this is false to the reason. To the reason it is always true that the earth moves round the sun; this is false to the supreme vision. Neither earth moves nor sun; there is only a change in the relation of sun-consciousness and earth-consciousness. (long silence) Impossible, I can't say anything. It implies that our habitual perception of the physical world is a false perception. Yes, naturally. Page 89 But then, what would the true

August August 5, 1964 (D., a disciple, sent Mother an eighteenth-century account by a Japanese monk of the Zen Buddhist sect describing a method called "Introspection," which enables one to overcome cold and hunger and attain physical immortality.[[Hermes magazine, Spring 1963. ]] Mother reads a few pages, then gives up.) It's better to work out your OWN system - if you want to work one out at all. That's what people have always reproached Sri Aurobindo for, because he doesn't tell you, "Do this in this way and that in that way...." And that's precisely what made me feel that there was the Truth. People cannot live without reducing things to a mental system. They need a me

August 29, 1964 (Regarding the definitive break between Satprem and his Tantric guru, with whom he had worked for six years. The occasion for this break was a sort of repetition of what had happened two years earlier, i.e., a swarming little horde of businessmen and "disciples" in search of petty powers, against whom, once again, Satprem wanted to warn X, for he loved him in spite of everything. This break nearly cost Satprem his life, as will be seen later. Thus is it said that those things are fire.) ... I see in a very clear way that even in circumstances in which you seem to have made a mistake, even with things that betrayed a hope and give you proof that what you expected wasn'

December December 2, 1964 ... Letters are piling up in fantastic numbers, and I haven't answered. People should learn to receive: I answer very forcefully, very clearly, even with words, a precise sentence. If they learned to receive mentally, it would be good. I always answer. And when it's something important and I have some peace, when I have no external action, I even repeat my answer by making a very precise mental formation - they should receive it. (Mother picks up at random a letter from a Western disciple who asks to change her work or stop her external work, because, she says, it doesn't correspond to her nature. She also complains about her relationship with others and

February 22, 1964 (The day after Mother's eighty-sixth birthday. Mother first reads the translation of the message she gave on the 21st:) It was translated in an interesting way.... I read it, then I concentrated (A. was sitting here, not moving or saying anything), so first I said a word or two to him to "establish the atmosphere." Then I remained quiet, and it simply came - it isn't exactly a translation: Sa volonté solitaire affronta la loi du monde. Pour arrêter la roue fatale, cette Splendeur se leva ... Her single will opposed the cosmic rule. To stay the wheels of Doom this greatness rose. (Savitri, I.II.19) *** I had a strange night last night. The