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Chanting OM ̶ December 14, 2002
I was amazed the other evening when I chanted OM and read
Savitri at Huta's home, Gratitude, amazed that there was still some
voice left after nearly forty years without practicing. Perhaps Mother
will give me more and more openings to the New Music but I am aware that
at the OM Choirs She is the leader and my offering must be egoless ̶ not
even a hint of 'personal' satisfaction. If all can be offered to the
Divine then, perhaps...
Resource name: /E-Library/Disciples/Narad/English/Narads Diary/1999, March 13 (Trust and Consecration).htm
Trust and Consecration
March 13, 1999
What is needed now and always
has been is a complete trust in the Divine Grace, an exclusive turning
to the Mother with total faith that She will do the best thing for the
progress of Mary Helen's soul as mine and to progressively surrender
ourselves to Her and Sri Aurobindo.
If all the years of our life
together have led us to this point then we must use the opportunity for
a leap forward in consecration and sincerity.
Each moment presents an occasion
to establish a deeper calm, to accept to be nothing, a
Resource name: /E-Library/Disciples/Narad/English/Narads Diary/1967, June 20 - Jyotipriyas Visit to our Home.htm
Diary ̶ October 3, 2001
Divine Mother,
My soul knows and needs no
convincing tat Thou art with Mary Helen at every moment.
Though the words of Arabinda Basu, Huta and Deshpande,
emphasizing Thy ever present help for Mary Helen, doing what is best
for her soul, are an added comfort for the outer being, within I am
certain of Thy Grace and Blessings.
Therefore how can I pray for Thee and Sri Aurobindo to be
with her? And yet I pray.
All I can do is offer myself in
gratitude, knowing that the Lord's Will shall be done. In that knowledge I rest in calm tr
Resource name: /E-Library/Disciples/Narad/English/Narads Diary/1998, September 28 (Surgery Day) 01.htm
Diary
September 28, 1998
Surgery Day
7:47 a.m.
Mary Helen,
Thou hast been such a
blessing to this soul. No
human can know what Mother and Sri Aurobindo have done for us and for the
body of the earth. Cherished
are all my memories of thee, steadfast companion on the way.
Your deep gentle love, your thoughts of others always before
yourself, your quiet depths, your calm revealing smile rising from the
inner recesses of your soul of light, your voice ever soft and gentle,
Resource name: /E-Library/Disciples/Narad/English/Narads Diary/2002, December (Ashram Courtyard).htm
VADIM HAMMER
June 5, 1966
Last week a gentleman
came to the restaurant for lunch. He asked for something light since he had
just received shots for a trip overseas. We began to talk and he introduced
himself as Vadim Hammer, a dealer in Far Eastern art. Quite soon we were both
discussing Pondicherry. He told me that he had visited primarily to see
Golconde, a building which his closest friend, George Nakashima, had designed
with M. Raymond. I mentioned that just about two weeks previously I had heard
of George through Eleanor Montgomery. Vadim does not know Eleanor but has known
George for over twenty years. He gave me directions to New Hope, Pennsylvania
(George’
Mary Helen
Diary - 3/01/02
I sit at my
workstation and
looking at her photograph a sorrow comes over me that such a priceless
gift has
to suffer so and, looking back, wish that I had been able to gather a
little
more light, become more purified, humble, attentive to her I those
last painful
weeks of her journey here on earth.
There is such love in
her
eyes and in her smile; it brightened all around her.
She loved me in her human way and
although she regretted not voicing it more often, it was her divine
Resource name: /E-Library/Disciples/Narad/English/Narads Diary/2001, August 12 - Our 20th Anniversary.htm
Diary ̶ July 3, 1967
I seem for a moment to have lost hold of Her hand. Fear
rises in me and gray shadows abound. A chilling mellowness, a loss of
clear vision and the weight of unbearable sadness comes and settles on
me. My body responds not to the call of health and fitness.
The waves in the ocean today came pounding relentlessly
and I amongst them not daring to lose my foothold or go too far out,
stood silently thinking and fear came upon me. I saw those who love
thee, O ocean, greet thee an laugh as thy spume hit their faces. They
merged into thee, ran shouting and plu