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November 2, 1972
(Mother sees Sujata)
How is Satprem?
Quite well, Mother, I think.
And you, how are you going?
But I wanted to ask you: how is Mother going these days?
Mother isn't "going"! There's no longer any person to "go." Mother goes where the Lord wants her to go.
(silence)
Do you understand my condition? One minute the body feels it is going to die; the next minute it feels immortal. So after that, one can't ... one can't possibly say "how it's going." Do you understand?
Yes, little Mother, I think I do. Only, Mother, it's you whocarry
us along. So when we feel that things are working out for
you, they work out for us also. That's how it is, isn't i
April 30, 1973
Do you want to ask anything? ... Tell me....
I don't know.... One would like to have the certitude one willpull
through all this....
(Mother raises her arms
silence)
Certitude of what?
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Of the outcome of the battle. [[I was thinking of my own personal battle in the subconscient, not of Mother's battle, of whose outcome I had not the least doubt. ]]
(Mother raises her arms)
The ultimate outcome is obvious.
Yes, Mother, it's obvious. But sometimes, when one is in the
thick of it, one really doesn't know, one doesn't understand
what's going on....
No, you mean whether we'll see the outcome of the battle in this body - is that w
February 9, 1972
Good morning, Mother.
I have nothing, mon petit, you're going to get skinny!
No!
(Mother gives some flowers,
then
her latest note)
The first thing one learns on the way is thatgiving brings
much greater joy than taking.
Then, gradually, one learns that selflessness isthe source
of an immutable peace. Later, in this
selflessness one finds the Divine, and that is the
source of an unending bliss....
One day Sri Aurobindo told me that if peopleknew that and
were convinced of it they would all
want to do yoga.
(silence)
We need a message for the 21st.... Do you have something?
There are several probable texts, but perhaps you
April 3, 1972
(Meeting with the American woman disciple)
Things are going fast.
The body must learn not to think of itself. That's the only way. As soon as it thinks of itself, its condition gets horrible.
But honestly, sincerely, it doesn't think anymore. It is here for a certain work; the work must be done, and that's all. What will be will be - it's true, after all, what will be will be, what does it matter to it! ... It says, "Everything is for the best." It can't stay forever in its present precarious condition; so it must either be transformed, or else lose its form and come undone. Well ... it needn't worry about it, just leave it to the Lord to decide - truly and sincerel
March 1, 1972
(After a long contemplation.)
I have a feeling I had something to tell you. Last time too - as soon as you left, I knew what it was. But then it faded again. I don't know why.
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March 8, 1972
(Mother holds a "Transformation" flower in her hand)
For whom?
(she looks for another flower
to give Satprem and Sujata one each)
Ten lakhs of rupees have just burned up in Auroville.
Ten lakhs! [[About $100,000. ]]
Yes. A workshop with machines as well as the godown [storeroom] next door which contained the stock of food. Brrff!
That's how it is, like an imperative Order: Don't step out of line or else everything will go wrong.
It's become terrible. Another Auroville child died (a one-and-a-half-year-old baby) because his parents didn't have the right attitude. He has just died. That's how it works. It's getting terrible. Terrible. A kind of Pressure
March 29, 1972
(That same day, after Malraux, the conversation took a com
pletely different turn, which is why we publish it separately,
although under the same date.)
Page 109
I had a feeling I had something to give you....
Did they give you a tape-recording? ... I had said something to R. and to Sujata.
Is it good?
Yes, Mother, yes, it was good! We could perhaps publish it? Itwas
about the vision you had of your own transitional body.
I simply wanted to make sure you had received it. [[Actually, Satprem was only given the recording with Sujata, not the other one. ]]
Yes, Mother, it's extremely interesting.... Did you see anythingnew
since that vision o
October 11, 1972
(After inquiring about Satprem's health.)
And in general is it better?
Yes. I don't know, how do you see it yourself?
(Mother laughs) I mean, is it better on the whole? ... Can't you
hear?
Yes, yes, of course I can hear! You mean the whole of ...
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Of you?
Oh, me.... I don't know, I'm a speck of dust ... that is tryingto
be a little useful, that's all.
(Mother nods her head)
But I don't know what "me" is. Whenever I see that "me," itseems
quite ridiculous and dark.
(Mother laughs)
Everything good in me isn't "me" at all.
That I understand!
So I really don't know.
That's very good.
Yes, but the person I
December 16, 1972
(Mother gives Satprem an egg)
I have nothing.... I've become poor!
Then the world is poor!
(Mother laughs) How are you?
Quite well, Mother, yes, quite well.
Inside, I know.
What does the world look like to you from that otherconsciousness
?
(Mother does not seem to have heard the question)
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As I told you: I am happy - are you satisfied?
Oh, yes! Certainly!
Well, there you are; it's true. I find you are making progress.
Ah, God willing!
Shall we go there together?
Yes, Mother! But Id like to be able to follow you.
(Mother smiles,
making a gesture of pulling Satprem with a rope)
Hem! ... I'll pull you!
G
April 8, 1973
(The next day, as agreed, I came to see Mother. From now on,
the
attendant was barely visible anymore, but she secretly
recorded our conversations. [[Mother was well aware of it and
had even said to her son, "She records when she isn't supposed to." ]] The whole
time of this meeting is
spent in meditation. I keep
having the feeling that Mother
is trying to build
another kind of bridge with me.
Towards the end.)
Will I see you tomorrow?
It seems there are "still too many people"....
All right, Mother.
And....
(Mother plunges in again) [397]
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