XVII THE LAST RAY     Our meeting with the Mother proceeded in this manner, T and K together, and myself alone, reading our respective matters on alternate days. She had no further comments to make on my Talks. Probably at the end of March 1973, she fell ill and all our meetings stopped. When she had recovered, some interviews were gradually resumed. I think it was at this time I had my last darshan. As usual, I was waiting outside for my turn though I was almost certain that I would not be called since she had just come out of her illness. Still I had to go and wait, for none could predict the Mother's ways. And this was precisely what happened. I was called in. What I saw made me almos

VI THE MOTHER TAKES UP MEDICAL CORRESPONDENCE     Near about 1937 Sri Aurobindo had some trouble with his eyes. All correspondence had to be suspended. Though I carried on my medical duties without the Mother's guidance, both the patients and the doctor felt the need of her physical support. The Mother, therefore, came to our rescue and took up the correspondence herself. I shall give in these pages some instances of her direct instructions.     An old sadhak had contracted TB. I wrote to the Mother that the case was serious, but that there was still hope. The medical treatment possible was next to nil (I am talking of the 'thirtees ). "If you want to cure him," I said, "please do it as you

XVI 1971  - 1973 SWEETNESS AND LIGHT The Mother's unexpected sanction and encouragement for writing Twelve Years with Sri Aurobindo, spurred me to action and I began working on the book. She seemed to have pumped a Force into me at the same time so that I had to be constantly busy and active which is against the grain of my nature. My personal contact with her had stopped owing to her illness. Now I felt that it should be renewed: then I might draw some inspiration directly from the contact. My prayer was granted and I started seeing her once a week. It was not quite the same Mother as I had seen in the year 1967-1968. Physically she had become frail, but her face was ever bright and h

III PLUNGE INTO DARKNESS     As soon as we reached Chittagong, I received a telegram from my relatives in Rangoon that a Government post had fallen vacant and I was sure to get it, if I applied for it. I was in a fix, for I had told the Mother that I would practise in my home town. Fate now decided otherwise and I sailed for Burma. That post was, however, not available, but in its stead, another job offered itself almost unasked for and unexpected. I had gone to pay a courtesy-call to a Professor in the Rangoon Medical College, an I. M. S. who was an Edinburgh graduate. He spoke to me of a job that was going to be vacant and he wanted me to apply for it. Not only so, he made me see the prope

XII 1960 ONWARDS     I have said that from the year 1953 onward the Mother spent a part of her time in her room on the second floor. She used to come down in the morning and go back, finishing all her work, at night. Then a change took place: coming down in the morning she would finish her work starting with the Balcony darshan and ending with seeing the usual group of people. It would last till noon, even a little later. Then she went up for lunch. After a couple of hours she came down, had her bath and began another round of seeing the departmental heads and other people. Near about 6 or 6.30 pm. she would go up and retire for the night. She had stopped going to the Tennis-ground and the Playgr

XIII REVELATION     For days in succession, the Mother was unusually sweet with me during the morning Pranam. She would hold my hands, look intently into my eyes smiling all the while so bewitchingly that it would be difficult for me not to turn away my gaze. As the other people around were watching with keen interest this mysteriously ecstatic communion, I used to feel embarrassed, but the Mother paid no attention and was absorbed in what she was doing. I felt as if she were looking into my very soul and suffusing my whole being with light. But what was the reason for it all, I could not tell. My friends, very much intrigued, would ask me afterwards for a clue. I had to disappoint th

XIV From 1963 - LOSS OF PERSONAL CONTACT     In the year 1962, probably after April, a long period of personal contact with the Mother came to an end and was resumed in 1966. For she fell seriously ill. As a result all the interviews had to be suspended. When she recovered she stopped coming down altogether. The personal contacts were re-established only with those who were in charge of the departments. Interviews were granted to the visitors or people on their birthdays and they used to take place in the Music Room on the second floor.     On the first of February, 1963, the month of her birth, I had a strange experience during my morning meditation. It lasted about an hour. I saw man

X THE MOTHER'S MAGNANIMITY     A young man came to me with a letter of introduction from a friend in Calcutta. Our friendship went back to Scotland but we had hardly met each other since our arrival in India. This man had gathered all particulars about me from that friend, and, adding that he too was a doctor, said he would like to stay here. He also said he knew Dr. Sanyal. From other details it appeared that he was well-connected in Calcutta. Quite impressed, I arranged for him a room in Golconde. I informed the Mother about him and even consulted him in a medical case. Some days passed; he was gaily moving about and telling many tall stories to the young people.     One evening, whe

XVIII ECLIPSE     Now followed a long period of distress to her body to which the regular attendants alone were witnesses. We could only hear her cries of pain. A tragedy worse than that of Sri Aurobindo was being enacted, and most of us had no means of knowing what was passing in the closed chamber. Some news could be gleaned now and then from Pranab and other attendants, but they themselves were quite ignorant of and bewildered by the nature of the ailment. I would meet Champaklal only at night, and he could give no detailed news either, but there was always in his speech an uncertain tone ending with "Only He can help", or something to that effect. At times he used to be called urgently

XX THE MOTHER'S MESSAGE OF APRIL 2, 1972     For centuries and centuries humanity has waited for this time. It has come. But it is difficult.     I don't simply tell you we are here upon earth to rest and enjoy ourselves; now it is not the time for that. We are here to prepare the way for a new creation.     The body has some difficulty, so I can't be active, alas. It is not because I am old, I am not old. I am not old. I am younger than most of you. If I am here inactive, it is because the body has given itself to prepare for the transformation. But the consciousness is clear, and we are here to work . . . . . . rest and enjoyment come afterwards. Let us do our work here.