May 1935 "Trust in God"? Personal or Impersonal? Tell me instead, "Trust in Me", that would be comforting, tangible and practical. All right. It comes to the same thing in the upshot. May 1, 1935 I took J to hospital for her ear, but the E. N. T. doctor found instead vasomotor rhinitis for which he prescribed parathyroid and calcium internally. But she is quite well at present. If she is quite well, what is the use of parathyroiding and calciating her? C complains of oppression of the chest, and sleeplessness begun 2 days after there was no more medicine. She wants to starve Page - 232 herself at night; it appears Becharlal told her to

April 1935 Manibhai is all right. A little astonishing that the eye responded so well and so soon! With many people or in many cases it does. It depends on certain conditions either of the conscient or of the subconscient. I was under the impression that it is quite possible to know intuitively, with the Yogic vision, the exact condition of a patient without any medical diagnosis, but from your recent remarks about some patients I find that it is not so. On the contrary you say that the Force can act better and quicker when there is a proper diagnosis. In that case you depend upon human instruments which being fallacious and ignorant mostly, will paral

1933 I wrote to you regarding my staying here permanently. My aspiration and decision still stand the same. May I hear from you about it ? Before deciding forever, we can take a period of time and see — say till August. I am thinking of learning French, but will it help me in my sadhana ? Will you kindly suggest what I should do by way of some work or studies? There is some work in the B.D.¹ — if you like, you can ask Khirod — telling him how many hours you want to work. There are not much facilities for French just now. The classes have been stopped for a time owing to the illness of the eyes of the teacher. February 1933

August 1934 Last night as I was going to bed, I prayed for your light in the subconscient. Strange to say, all the troubles and turmoils were thrown up in response as it were, to the prayer. I had even emissions in dream. And this has happened more than once. Is there any coincidence or is really the effect of your response? Page - 56 The prayer brings a Force which presses on the subconscient and by that pressure these things come up. The emissions are of no great importance provided they are not frequent, but they indicate the presence of the sex-impulse there. Many are able to get a control by putting a strong will on the sex-organ or sex-centre befor

March 1935 I don't think R is any good at diagnosis. The old Doctor was the man for that. I would define R's method as "book work + imaginative experimentation". (It is a confidential estimate) But I really wonder why the Divine can't do something! You said people were saved from death by prayer, and here the Divine himself can't save this fellow from pain and suffering Such questions are all "my eye". N got remarkable response from the Divine, then why not N. P. ? Every man does not get response, and every man does not give response. K has a thick crop of eruptions on the face, and temperature. I was thinking it may

December 1935 But what is this, Sir, I felt last night? It was a warm touch on my forehead, as warm as your feet at Darshan. But it was so sudden that I doubted it almost. Possible such touches? Possible! What an absurd question to ask! Such touches are quite a common experience in sadhana. There are however different touches. Sometimes the touch is personal, sometimes it is the touch of the Power or Presence from above. Many feel not a warm touch Page - 390 but a wave of something warm descending, etc. December 1, 1935 Naik and I had an interesting discussion about the prognosis of sex-glands in consequence of Yogic abstinence, or any abstinence,

September 1935 least a supramental ass. And this would still be a short period for you, since in the supramental time-scale 50 years will be 50 days of ours. If that is so, then you will become a Supramental ass in 50 days — since my years are supramental, that follows. So what's the row about? With this glowing prospect before you! So I have stood and answered. But no amount of standing and answering will serve the purpose. I shall now learn to "stand and wait" as "they also serve who only stand and wait", says Milton. Thank God! A most comforting resolution — for me at any rate. Doctor Saheb I am sending to the dispensary two cases

November 1935 There was a small gale over the servant business. When his fault was shown, he went on arguing with me with an insolent attitude which I couldn't bear. Why not? He is using the freedom of his reason and asserting his sovietic equality with you, his "comrade" and fellow human. Ask H. Really, Sir, your Karmayoga has lost all charm for me. Page - 368 To go on all the time driving a fellow, rebuking him, is an anaesthetic business; besides, one can't pour out the venom as one doesn't know the language. But you harp on your dictum that all this is necessary for a great transformation. Exceedingly good discipline for you..

October 1935 Absolutely in the physical consciousness! Don't find any trace of the psychic anywhere, Sir! Are you handling the blessed subconscient physical or what? I am handling the handle. Sticky! If you are absolutely in the physical consciousness, so much the better. It shows you are on the way. If you were in your uproarious mental or tragic vital, then there would be little chance for the psychic to emerge. But now that you are in the physical, there is some prospect of your finishing the circle M. V. Ph. Afterwards possibly there will be a chance for the line Ps. HC. S. Rejoice! October 1, 1935 What are the abbreviations Ps. HC. S. ? Psychic

February 1936 By the way, you spoke of my friend J. B. as receiving the Mother's Force. [Sri Aurobindo underlined "Mother's Force"] "In contact with" the Divine Force which is the force of the Mother — that was what I wrote, I believe. But which Mother? Ours or some universal Mother as people say? Perhaps an ignorant and foolish question, but can't help it. Page - 475 How many Mothers are there? Who is this some universal Mother? How many of these some universal Mothers are there? I ask because I do not understand how without invoking the Mother, he gets her Force. Have you not put him by the photograph and his le