Chanting OM   ̶ December 14, 2002 I was amazed the other evening when I chanted OM and read Savitri at Huta's home, Gratitude, amazed that there was still some voice left after nearly forty years without practicing. Perhaps Mother will give me more and more openings to the New Music but I am aware that at the OM Choirs She is the leader and my offering must be egoless ̶ not even a hint of 'personal' satisfaction. If all can be offered to the Divine then, perhaps...

Trust and Consecration March 13, 1999 What is needed now and always has been is a complete trust in the Divine Grace, an exclusive turning to the Mother with total faith that She will do the best thing for the progress of Mary Helen's soul as mine and to progressively surrender ourselves to Her and Sri Aurobindo. If all the years of our life together have led us to this point then we must use the opportunity for a leap forward in consecration and sincerity. Each moment presents an occasion to establish a deeper calm, to accept to be nothing, a

Diary ̶ October 3, 2001 Divine Mother, My soul knows and needs no convincing tat Thou art with Mary Helen at every moment. Though the words of Arabinda Basu, Huta and Deshpande, emphasizing Thy ever present help for Mary Helen, doing what is best for her soul, are an added comfort for the outer being, within I am certain of Thy Grace and Blessings. Therefore how can I pray for Thee and Sri Aurobindo to be with her? And yet I pray. All I can do is offer myself in gratitude, knowing that the Lord's Will shall be done. In that knowledge I rest in calm tr

Diary September 28, 1998 Surgery Day 7:47 a.m. Mary Helen, Thou hast been such a blessing to this soul. No human can know what Mother and Sri Aurobindo have done for us and for the body of the earth. Cherished are all my memories of thee, steadfast companion on the way. Your deep gentle love, your thoughts of others always before yourself, your quiet depths, your calm revealing smile rising from the inner recesses of your soul of light, your voice ever soft and gentle,

VADIM HAMMER June 5, 1966 Last week a gentleman came to the restaurant for lunch. He asked for something light since he had just received shots for a trip overseas. We began to talk and he introduced himself as Vadim Hammer, a dealer in Far Eastern art. Quite soon we were both discussing Pondicherry. He told me that he had visited primarily to see Golconde, a building which his closest friend, George Nakashima, had designed with M. Raymond. I mentioned that just about two weeks previously I had heard of George through Eleanor Montgomery. Vadim does not know Eleanor but has known George for over twenty years. He gave me directions to New Hope, Pennsylvania (George’

Mary Helen Diary - 3/01/02 I sit at my workstation and looking at her photograph a sorrow comes over me that such a priceless gift has to suffer so and, looking back, wish that I had been able to gather a little more light, become more purified, humble, attentive to her I those last painful weeks of her journey here on earth. There is such love in her eyes and in her smile; it brightened all around her. She loved me in her human way and although she regretted not voicing it more often, it was her divine

Diary   ̶ July 3, 1967 I seem for a moment to have lost hold of Her hand. Fear rises in me and gray shadows abound. A chilling mellowness, a loss of clear vision and the weight of unbearable sadness comes and settles on me. My body responds not to the call of health and fitness. The waves in the ocean today came pounding relentlessly and I amongst them not daring to lose my foothold or go too far out, stood silently thinking and fear came upon me. I saw those who love thee, O ocean, greet thee an laugh as thy spume hit their faces. They merged into thee, ran shouting and plu